Monthly Archives: August 2013

The Walls Group – “Perfect People”

Yep so this premiere came right on time! I’m SO proud of the Walls Group — from YouTube to here it’s amazing! Glad their first video single reminds us that there are no perfect people and that each day we should and are capable of being better. ♥

– Joc


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August 31, 2013 · 5:51 am

Sir Abstraxxx (spoken word)- “Endless”

If anyone knows me they know that to love me is to love poetry/spoken word. There is a breathtaking beauty to the fact that you can take a pen and paper and transform one second or one thought into art. Since really rededicating my life to the Lord going on 3 years ago, I had to totally purge everything that was connected to my ‘old self’ in order to get to the place where God could mold, transform, and reshape me. Now that he has done that, I have a pretty good handle on balance. I filter what I allow into my ear/eye gates as I am FULLY aware of that fact that the [world] I live in doesn’t operate in the same manner. I would be a ‘dumb Christian’ if I didn’t acknowledge that fact; and since I am equipped with this knowledge I make sure I handle people and things with a long handle. What some Christians (especially new Christians or comfy Christians) forget at times is that there is such thing as a ‘gateway drug’. Gateway drugs don’t necessarily have to be physical drugs, but they can be anything that can open a clear path through the dooryway of temptation and the old sinful life you should have left behind when you got saved. For me this included my beloved poetry (for awhile). Even today and going forward in life I have to be mindful of what music I listen to, what leisure events I attend, and the type of people I hang out excessively with. Going back to the opening of this post — poetry is my thing. So now that I am living this new life for the Lord, I have to be careful not to lose myself in the words of the pieces I hear (like I once did) because it can be dangerous for my walk. All it takes is the right combination of words and my mind will go racing with memories of the life I once lived. I had fun times in my ‘old life’ but it was a sinful life — therefore I have to constantly battle thoughts and memories of who I once was in order to continue to strive and prosper as the woman of God I am now. AND SINCE I DO miss out on a lot of stuff because of my self censor, it really made my weekend to stumble across this spoken word piece by Sir Abstraxxx (I won’t get into his stage name, just focus on the piece haha)

This guy laid it out for his lady pure, clean, and simple. And to add the cherry on top, any soul who has ever known me will know that these chords in the beat behind this guy is EVERYTHING AND MORE!!! WOOOOOO CHILDREN! So enough of me talking and jabbering…check it out for yourself. Enjoy.

– Joc

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Are YOU In An Unofficial Relationship? This is For You…

The Whatevership: How I Settled For A Relationship Without A Title – written by Dee Rene

Let me begin by saying he was dark chocolate, had strong arms, and a smooth talker. Recipe for disaster. We met over drinks and twerking at a local bar. Enamored with his presence, I fell hard. I fell so hard that I shut my eyes to all the blaring red flags that greeted me on each step of the journey.

I wanted him. Nothing else mattered and I was going to make this round peg fit into this square hole and we would both live in bliss. A few weeks would turn into months. A few texts turned into kisses, sex, and suddenly the winter wasn’t so bad after all. We spent a lot of time together (mostly in the house) and our conversations would deepen as time went by.

For all intents and purposes this FELT like a relationship and had many relationship-like qualities. We were exclusively sleeping together. Emotionally attached.

Yet in title and in actions – we were both single people.

He wasn’t ready for a relationship when we met. I ignored it. That was six months ago and surely he’d changed his mind by now.  He didn’t.

He wasn’t (and didn’t want to be) my boyfriend. I ignored it. Instead I held him to boyfriend expectations and played the girlfriend role. I found myself in cyclical disappointment when he didn’t meet those expectations (because he wasn’t, after all, my boyfriend) and my “girlfriend” actions went unappreciated. It had been six months and surely he’d changed his mind by now. He didn’t.

He didn’t understand my frustrations and my emotional outbursts. What was “cool” wasn’t cool anymore as I drove my emotional train down the incomplete tracks of his heart.

The whatevership began to crumble as they always do. I crashed. I crashed right into the brick wall when he said, “Dee, we are just friends. I told you I didn’t want a girlfriend. Relax.”

If my life was a sitcom I would have kicked him and his duffle bag right out my house. If I’m just your friend stop eating my cooking, messing up my sheets and hair, and stop taking up space in my life where a boyfriend should be. Theme music would play and I’d emerge like a triumphant heroine recanting the story to my girlfriends over wine in the next scene.

Instead I sat quietly. Let it soak in. And when he left that evening he left for the last time. There was wine, but it was sipped from underneath the covers of my bed as I sat fully dressed in heartbreak. I played my “break up songs” playlist and melted into a puddle of feelings. I spent many sleepless nights completely thrown that I had another break up for a relationship that didn’t actually exist.

I’m getting too old for this. But thank God for friends, prayer, writing and wine. I got up one day and began to process how exactly I’d fallen down this gaping sink hole of foolishness in the first place.

Although the situation felt like a relationship it wasn’t. Often times, when we accept less than what we want and deserve, people take advantage of our willingness to settle. I subconsciously gave away the benefits of a relationship in hopes that he would give me the accountability and responsibility that comes with a relationship title eventually. As long as we played house maybe it would turn into a house one day. Right? Wrong.

The companionship was great and I convinced myself that because my feelings changed, his would change just the same. No matter how much time, energy, and emotions we spent, at the end of the day he was a single man being held to boyfriend expectations that he did not want to meet. And there I was picking up the pieces when it all fell apart.

Whether I wanted to admit it or not, I settled. My desire to have him as my own blinded me to the red flags and clear signs to leave the situation before it got too deep.

Some people enjoy whateverships. There’s nothing wrong with the situation if that’s what you BOTH want. However, I wasn’t willing to admit to myself that this wasn’t what I wanted and stayed in this relationship purgatory for way too long.

I denied, and was almost ashamed to admit that my heart needed a real relationship in title, action, word, and deed. In the age of “playing it cool” and not wanting to “pressure” a man, I buckled in to a seat on the whatevership bus. When my heart was uncomfortable and it was time to get up, I just kept riding around hoping it would change.

It didn’t.

Although that’s not everyone’s story, it’s mine and it was time for me to reflect and do better the next time. No amount of companionship is worth risking emotional damage. The whatevership just isn’t for me. I expect the best from everyone else so it was time I stopped giving myself scraps.

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Compromising vs Balance

Compromising vs Balance (via Jamal Hyman)


Lately, I have been speaking about relationships, intimacy, and balance. I have chosen to focus on these topics because during my spiritual journey as a Man of God these issues are things I’ve faced. From deep studies and revelations from God, I have learned and witnessed the consequences of compromising,The Bible tells us to “…not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind… (Romans 12:2)”. You would think it would be easy to obey Gods word, but when you add your flesh, pride and freedom of choosing to, “…not conform…” it becomes a little trickier.In today’s society, if you don’t have the latest shoes or brand name clothing than you are nobody. These things promoted in the world make conforming/compromising your beliefs, morals, and values the cool thing to do. But that is not the case because compromising makes you forget who you are; to be accepted for someone that you are not.Along my journey as a Man of God, I have compromised to be accepted and save relationships that was not in Gods plan or purpose in my life at the time.Understand this; if something is from God, you won’t have to compromise in any shape or form that is not pleasing to God. I have compromised my standards of celibacy to seek pleasure in sex, masturbation and oral sex. What I found to be the reason for my actions was due to the lack of intimacy and growth with my Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ.In the stages of me compromising I was so unbalanced that I used anything to fill those voids and turned to bad habits from the past. Anytime you turn to negative habits, the devil always plant thoughts in your mind that makes you do it more than once and think it’s okay to do it again.What I’ve learned from my “season of compromise” was that if I don’t have a balanced life, when I go through a season in my life where I’m hurt or loss someone that I was emotional connected to; I subject myself to bad habits that hinder me from growing closer to God.Recently, I have learned a deeper teaching about commitment, intimate, and faithful relationship to God from Derrick Hammond and other studies. From Derrick Hammond, he breakdowns Judas communion and betrayal; Judas was able to communion with Jesus without being committed to Jesus.A lot of us communion with Jesus but don’t totally commit to Jesus which leads us to be unbalance in our walk with Christ making it easy to go astray. I started to understand that I didn’t have a balanced life, so it was hard for me to love those who were not Saved. I would judge them, and avoid being around them. I would isolate myself before being with them. The Bible tells us, “…love your neighbor as yourself… (Mark 12:31)”. I started to think about those sinners that I avoided and how they were my “neighbor” that the Bible was talks about in Mark 12:31, and I realized that I wasn’t loving them like I loved myself.When God shows you, your own sin; it has a funny way of humbling you. So, then I studied the story of Jesus turning water to wine, realizing that Jesus was at a wedding and at the event, it was known to drink wine. I started to realize how Jesus got down to the level of those around him to be a light to those that would pay attention to His miracle. I also realized that Jesus was so comfortable about who He was that those around Him no matter who it was, sinner or believer, they were comfortable with who they were that they didn’t have to put up a front that they didn’t drink wine.My purpose now for people to realize that I’m not here to judge you but to tell you truth in Love; I can’t judge you because I don’t know you enough to say anything. Understand that if you’re being balance, you are able to listen to some secular songs as long as you know who you are. You will be able to be heavenly mind as well as earthly good. Being balance is about having an intimate relationship with Jesus where you can understand that not everybody will be saved at the same time and it’s a lifetime process of changing and growth. Being balance allows you to never forget those things you used to do, but to help those that are going through the same things.“When you forget where you come from, you will never make it to where you are going to because you lost the reality of yourself.”

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Joc’s Fav Puff Daddy/Puffy/P.Diddy/Diddy Music Moments (in history)

Joc’s Fav Puff Daddy/Puffy/P.Diddy/Diddy Music Moments (in history)

  1. “Can’t Nobody Hold Me Down”
  2. “Mo Money Mo Problems”
  3. “I’ll Be Missing You” – Faith was a pure ANGEL on that song! Flawless
  4. 112 “Only You Remix” – I thought I told ya that we won’t stop, I thought I told ya that we won’t stop!
  5. “I Need A Girl Part 1: feat Usher” – wooooo I wanted to be Usher’s girl back in the day. Now, not so much. He don’t “tickle my fancy”.
  6. “Shake Ya Tailfeather” – this was at the breakout stages of the banging house parties and when I started dance battling in public. lol Don’t judge. Shake som’in, move som’in.
  7. “Special Delivery RMX” – in that video he near bout shouted a hole in the floor!
  8. “Last Night” – I actually liked Keyshia Cole on this one
  9. “Come to Me” – do it do it do it
  10. Danity Kane’s “Damaged”
  11. “Hello Good Morning” – let’s go let’s go! This was my ringtone entire last year of college
  12. “Loving You No More” – I can’t I just I can’t …yeah that was the text ringtone for like 2 years

BONUS – For Real Pharrell (cuz he tha truth)

“Flap Ya Wings” – Pharrell and Nelly DID this thing! Now shall I proceed….?!

“Give It To Me”  – classic with Jay Z. They were a good team

“Beautiful” – Snoop and Pharrell. Enough said Baby Boo.

“Frontin” – this was my “awww” song like the entire time I was in high school it seems. The production is smooth, suave, and sexy.  Owwww

The Entire JUSTIFIED album that he produced with Timberland and the rest of the Neptunes. Justin Timberlake should be tied at the hip to them. Hit after hit! McDonalds has been using the lyrics of his song for their slogan for over TEN YEARS!

I don’t listen to much ‘popular’ music now but back in the dayyyyy. This post was inspired by N’Sync getting back together last night at the VMAS. It reminded me of my school days.  – Joc

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Just Walk….

[Just Walk] Video — A Conversation With God.

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And another random tid bit it is coming at you soon…. like now!I just want to say that I am totally in LOVE with Zendaya Coleman! This young lady is so passionate, beautiful, and talented it’s mind blowing! I first saw her while flipping through the television channels dancing and originally thought ABDC had come out with another season (sadly not); but when I saw her little limbs flex and pop I couldn’t turn away.


Her acting is supurb and if “Shake It Up” was on back in the 90s when I was a kid I would be glued to the tube each and every day! She is someone I wouldn’t mind having my future kids look up to. Now mind you, we have virtually NO CLUE how she will turn out or what she does in her off-time (note cue: Lindsay Lohan, Justin Beiber) — but I feel as long as her parents keep her grounded and as long as she doesn’t let money or life’s emotional rollercoaster influence her decisions, then she’ll grow into a lovely young woman.


To me, it’s like watching Aaliyah 2.0. Zendaya is a perfect mix of girly and tough that brews up one phenom-in-the-making. I know some people say Ciara is a mini Aaliyah, but I think Zendaya captures her essence more. Ciara is amazing and I don’t knock her by any means, but she’s more of a gritty, outright sexual performer; whereas Aaliyah and Zendaya have that perfect mix of both worlds going on. But who knows, maybe as she ages, Zendaya will go sex it up like Miley….only time will tell.

But for now, I want you all to check out her AMAZE BALLS (in my Giuliana Rancic voice) first music video! Support this child!

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10 Dates I Plan to Go On (One Day):


10 Dates I Plan to Go On (One Day): 

  1. go to the park or hiking
  2. go to a cool concert, blues or jazz lounge
  3. go to a play or movie (yes, stage plays are pretty cool in my book)
  4. go to a theme park
  5. go to a swanky restaurant
  6. go to a radical dive (you don’t always have to spend lots of $ of food)
  7. go to a town festival (great arts, music, and food)
  8. get a Red Box and order some wings
  9. cook dinner together
  10. take a night walk on the beach (my fav! I’m determined to do this one day!) 


A friend and I were talking about dates/first dates so I thought hey, why not post my dating-bucket-list and maybe give someone else a good idea. If you have a hot date coming up and are plum out of ideas (yes I said plum)…you’re welcome. I take my payments in Trident Layers Gum. ❤

– Joc

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Beware of the Company You Keep…

This morning, my devotion was based in Matthew (chapter 18 to be exact). In it, it chronicled a number of events and stories, but a few verses that stuck out to me were verses 7-9.

Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!

Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.

And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.


What I walked away with is the message that if “something on you” causes you to sin — cut it off! I believe you can even liken the ‘body parts’ in the text to ‘friends and family’. WHAT DO YOU MEAN JOC?! If the crowd you surround yourself with is jeopardizing your righteousness or Christ walk, then you need to CUT THEM OFF! It’s better to be with a few friends and move forward without that particular friend/family member than it is to go through life constantly giving in to temptation because of a bad influence. Sometimes you have got to act BRAND NEW and be unapologetic about it!

That’s just what I walked away with. What do YOU glean from this particular reading?

– Joc

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If a Man Wants You…You WILL KNOW (via Gen. 28-29)

This morning for my daily devotion I focused my reading on Genesis 28-29 in which it details the account of Jacob, Leah, and Rachel. Each day I pray and make it a point to walk away from my devotions learning something that I can apply to or understand in today’s world. After reading this story (that I’ve read/heard a billion times before) I walked away with two main points that I didn’t think about before.


Jacob worked 14 years for the woman he loved.

Lesson learned: a man of God is going to work hard for what and WHO he wants. If a man is interested in you or loves you, he will make it happen. Point blank period. And MEN…it’s not being whipped or weak if you do for your woman. If you have a woman of God you will honor her when you are dating/courting her by respecting she and her house (family). When you finally do marry her, it’s ok to show her that you love her.


Each time Leah had a child, she named him ( ** insert name here **) because she was hoping and praying that with each son, Jacob’s love for her would grow. That was a NEGATIVE.

The first lesson to be learned in reading this is to be careful when wanting/pursuing a man. As a woman, you do not need to do all of the work. If a man wants to date/court/marry you, you will KNOW it. Second lesson to be learned…be careful which family/friends are allowed access to the details of your relationship. Leah’s dad led she AND Jacob on after that first 7 years Jacob worked for the family. Jacob was bamboozled and Leah was led to believe Jacob would love her in the end. The third and last lesson to walk away with (or at least I think you should walk away with) is for the ladies. Beautiful women of God…a baby is NOT going to keep a man. If you are of the Christian faith and are guilty of this, this story is here, outlined in the doggone Bible for goodness sakes! Regardless of how many sons Leah bore, Jacob never loved her because his heart was with Rachel. So if you are a “side chick” and think it will always work out for you…think again. Baby or not, if you are not the one a man believes is for him, the fact that you share a child will not sway his heart. Even if you are the one exclusively dating/courting your guy…having a baby together does not solidify your relationship.  If the foundation hasn’t already been laid and you are headed towards marriage, jumping the gun and popping out kids is NOT going to change the matter.

Hope this enlightens and helps someone!

– Joc

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