Sometimes I Forget That I’m A Child of God…

Sometimes I am guilty of temporarily losing touch with the fact that I am a child of God. I say this because periodically throughout my life I teeter on the edge of duping myself into thinking “This is too petty for God. I sound silly asking Him for all this stuff. Maybe I’m not being grateful enough for what I already DO have.”

This is a lie that the Holy Spirit checks me on daily! It tells me that “No, Jesus stood in the gap so that you could be an heir WITH Him! Whatever you ask in His name, it WILL get to the Father.” It reminds me that nothing is too small or minute to bring to God in prayer.

“So what kind of things are you talking about Joc?”

#1 MY CAREER STATUS – As a born again believer, I am aware that God orders my steps; but at times I get in a muddle where I’m stuck in the flood of indecisiveness. I want to pray that God will place the right path clear in my face — but sometimes I don’t because I talk myself out of it in dread that I will come across as ungrateful. I am very grateful for the job I have now because I am painfully aware that these days a college degree doesn’t go as far as it used to – and the fact that I’m not going back to school, piling on more debt or freeloading on someone’s couch eating saltine crackers …I am blessed. However if you are “a creative” or know anyone who has an artsy soul (like myself), to work in a position in where you can’t stretch and exercise your creative mind feels like borderline murder. DAILY I have to pray and talk to God (even out loud at times) to keep my sanity. I am very good at any job I am asked to do, but it doesn’t mean I like doing it. I’m simply doing what I have to do until God elevates me to where I want to be. THIS BRINGS ME TO my problem. I pray for a career in which I can enjoy my life and prosper, but I don’t want to seem ungrateful for what I have now. That’s when the Holy Spirit takes me to Galatians 6:9 – “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” and I am comforted in knowing that “Hey, God sees me. He clearly knows my heart. He won’t let my spirit die.”

delight#2 MY LOVE LIFE (or potential one rather) – I feel like I’m always talking about love (probably because I photograph weddings and love to see a woman and a man come together as one). But even in this area of my life I find myself fighting discouragement because of bad experiences in the past. Unlike the average person, I have GROWN from my mistakes and past failed relationships and have lived the single life for going on 3 years now in the way a Christian woman should. I wear a committment ring as an outward symbol to God and man that I will be celibate until marriage and will not entertain any foolishness. I may have seen a few guys I wouldn’t mind dating, but have purposely avoided pursuing or obliging to any romances due to the fact that I have been using this time to grow as an individual and really seek God in molding me into the woman of God that my future husband will love, adore, and faithfully appreciate. Now that I feel comfortable with getting back out there on the dating scene, I have been back and forth, second guessing myself on just about everything.

Have we been friends long enough? Am I giving him enough rope to know that I’m interested? Should I be more aggresive? Do we know each other well enough to even pursue a relationship? I really want to start officially dating, but now what?

In the past, I dated as “the world” dated. You know, find a guy you have similar interests with, can party/drink with, goes to church but doesn’t necessarily reflect it in his living, has a decent job, and is a good person overall. But now that I have been intentional and serious about dating as God would have me to date, I have to constantly be reminded by the Holy Spirit that “It’s ok to pray for the qualities you desire in a man. It’s ok to pray and ask God to help make YOU the person you need to be.” Afterall, in a healthy relationship, you ARE the person you attract. Since I desire a man who is godly, faithful, humorous, thoughtful, caring, supportive, an amazing provider , and an outstanding father who will help me raise our children in the way God would have us to…..I know I need to make sure I exhibit those very same/similar qualities. I have to remind myself that it’s ok to ask God for a certain person and to help you in the area of romance. It’s not silly, it just shows how you’re willing to go to Him for any and every thing. indecision

You may be wondering “What’s The BIG deal Joc, it’s not that serious. Nothing is THAT serious to worry about whether you should or shouldn’t pray about it.”; but to me, it is. I have no intentions WHAT SO EVER to go back to the old life I once lived. I already know the pain and consequences that come with it and I am careful to not even allow myself to step in gateways that could even nudge me back in the wrong direction. I guess that’s why I go back and forth all of the time in my mind when it comes to my career and love. I want to live a right, prosperous and effective life. (not just successful) I want to be able to do the job/career that my heart desires. I want to be able to date and marry a man that will stand the test of time with me – I don’t want to mess my future up in any way, but I don’t want to seem like I “over do it” in the prayer department. I guess you can say I am guilty of sometimes treating God like man. Man will get tired of you nagging and asking for stuff all the time, but God is not like man. He is my Father and WANTS me to come to Him.

Though I may second guess myself, I’m always reminded at the end of the day that I have the right as a child of God to ask God for what I want. He may chose to give it to me or pass on it for something better. Either way, I know that it’s ok to pray. God is like an earthly father who wants to give his kids the world…all they have to do is just ask.

– Joc


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Filed under Joc's Observations, The Christian Life

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