According to NewsOne, a Memphis minister who was arrested and charged last year with criminal exposure to HIV for knowingly infecting a woman he had relations with was caught trying to look for love on BlackPeopleMeet.com recently.
Pastor Rodney Carr, 47, tested positive for HIV in 2005, but after dating a MARRIED woman in 2010 and 2011, he reportedly infected her with the virus since he didn’t divulge information about his sexual health to her. The woman found out she had HIV when she went for a routine visit to her gynecologist. According to NewsOne, she said that she trusted Pastor Carr and didn’t think he would do such a thing because he is a minister…despite the fact that he was already living foul by having an affair with her.
Although Carr isn’t in jail and is free to try to mack online, he’s still being prosecuted for his crime. At a recent court appearance, he claimed that he didn’t knowingly try to infect the married woman, but if he’s found guilty he could at the least face a $500 fine, and at the most, face two years in prison. According to the Inquisitr, under the profile Minterwonderful, Pastor Carr was trying to make love connections on the popular black dating site, BlackPeopleMeet. The married woman he infected heard about his antics and basically said to NewsOne that after what he put her through, trying to connect with other people on the site is deplorable.
– to read the whole story, go to: http://madamenoire.com/311465/pastor-rodney-carr-caught-on-dating-site-after-spreading-hiv/
This is almost too ridiculous to address, but unfortunately stuff like this goes on EVERY SINGLE DAY!
After doing an interview with HIV/AIDS activist Hydeia Broadbent earlier this year (read it here http://www.weenonline.org/blog-article.php?id=276 ), I felt compelled to do a little digging into the stats in the African American community. I WAS SHOCKED at the numbers I found! Mess like this goes on in the black community primarily because we simply don’t take good care of ourselves when it comes to sexual health.
END OF STORY.
Mind you, certain diseases like HIV/AIDS can be transferred through needles, etc; but a lot of folk in the African American and Latino community get it via sexual activity. A lot of you might ask “why” since we clearly have PSA’s and learn in school how to stay safe by remaining abstinent/celibate or getting tested and using protection.
FACT #1 – A lot of black people (especially young black people) feel ‘trusting’ enough to sleep with a partner without protection. THIS NEEDS TO STOP! A lot of us will say in public that ‘heck yeah I use protection’ but when it comes down to it, we’re lying. A lot of young folk don’t even know WHAT they’re doing let alone know how to use a condom! I’m telling you beautiful black people, if someone is “in the mood” – a lot tends to slip the mind if you let it. I personally agree with waiting until marriage, but I’d also be a dummy if I believed that everyone in the world thought as I did. SO if you are sexually active, you are not lame or ruining the mood if you stop to use some protection. I’m pretty sure you’d rather be uncomfortable for a few seconds than live your entire life with something you can’t get rid of.
FACT #2 – Tons of black people don’t get tested regularly like they should. Don’t be stupid and play Russian Roulette with your health folks. There are a lot of diseases and virus that can not only spread through having sex with someone, but also doing ‘other stuff’. Every time you sleep with someone you need to be scheduling your next doctor’s appointment as soon as you finish basking in that afterglow! I AM SO SERIOUS! Why sit there and wonder if you have something or not. Even worse, why think “ok, I’m not sick, I don’t feel bad, I haven’t gotten anything yet” – the HIV/AIDS virus can live in your body for YEARS without a symptom until one day BAM, something can set it off. Even better, if you know you’re simply not going to wait until marriage and decide to sleep with your significant other, it’s best to get tested before you two even do something the first time just to make sure. If you’ve never slept with them before, you don’t know them. You don’t know who they’ve been with. They could be lying right TO your face.
FACT #3 – Lies and Stigma are causing damage in the black community! The very reason the pastor in this article is even in his situation is because he lied. Point, blank anddddd a period. In addition to participating in adultery, he kept his HIV/AIDS status on the hush hush. He essentially took that woman’s right to choose away from her. Straight up swiped it! Black people are probably the guiltiest of doing this when it comes to sex. If you have HIV/AIDS or some other disease, TELL THE OTHER PERSON! Regardless of how you got it, you owe it to the other person to tell them the truth and let them make their own decision on whether they want to sleep with you or not. I know people can be born with HIV/AIDS and some other stuff and it’s not their fault, but they’d still owe it to their partners to be honest. If you have any intentions of being with this person in the long run, WHY would you keep something like this from them? If they reject you, OH WELL! Yeah it’ll probably be a bummer, but the guilt of exposing them to something horrible will eat at you more (if you have a conscience). If you’re just trying to kick it no strings attached, you need to STILL TELL THE OTHER PERSON; especially if you contracted the virus due to YOUR promiscuity. YOU put yourself in that position – you have to deal with the consequences of it. Now if you got a diseasee because you were raped or were born to a mother with HIV/AIDS, I understand…. you can’t help that – but honestly (and I’m being totally honest right now) if I was dating a guy and as we were talking about marriage he told me he had HIV/AIDS; I would leave my heart open. Yeah I’d probably go a little numb at first, but then I would evaluate how much I love this man and honestly give some thought to continuing a life with him. Now mind you, I may end up breaking things off with him to protect MY health, but I would at least research the disease and give him a chance. I can respect a man more for being honest, than hiding something so serious from me. Stigma, lack of education, and lies will brew up situations like in this article. Stuff happens. People make mistakes. But don’t be a person who makes others pay for your tragedies.
Ok that’s the end of my thoughts on this. I just wanted to get the point out that we need to do better as a community. There is nothing wrong with doing a little extra work to make sure that YOU stay happy and healthy.