Life Lessons from Trey Songz

While flipping for a good radio station yesterday on my drive home from work, I came across a snippet of Trey Songz “Can’t Be Friends” before I decided to just pop in the newest Kierra Sheard cd. But as I waited for the first track to start, I couldn’t help but run through the lyrics to that Trey song in my mind. Up until a few years ago I was always on the latest and greatest when it came to R&B, Hip Hop & Rap — so immediately flashbacks bombarded my mind of my roomies and I back in college. It seemed like my junior and senior year, Trey was in full force and we knew EVERY word to that Pain & Pleasure cd. We’d say things like “oooh yes Trey, ain’t that the truth!” or “That song is for me!” or “I know how you feel Trey!”

But now with my renewed Christian mind, the song wasn’t just some good vocals and a nice track….I ACTUALLY understood why Trey was feeling the way he felt in that song. “Can’t Be Friends” is basically about Trey sleeping with a friend and tells of how everything changed from that point on. I knew on the surface that’s what it was about when he first came out with the song, but I never went into detail of realizing exactly WHY it was that things changed.

WELL I’ll tell you from a Christian standpoint why and how things changed…(ps. save your groans, YES I believe there is a spiritual explaination for every emotion we experience…and so what. Deal.)

S-O-U-L T-I-E

Soul ties are REAL…think it’s a game if you want to! Back in the day my friends and I used to talk about how unless you’re a cold hearted monster, there is NO way in heck you can be intimate with someone and then continue on with the same friendship you had before. From then on into history, they will always be ‘someone you slept with’. Not saying you would necessarily transform into a totally different person, but you would be lying if you said you wouln’t have in the back of your mind “I slept with this person.” Especially if you’re a woman. Women are always the ‘recievers’ when it comes to sexual intimacy, and not saying guys aren’t affected by soul ties (because they are) but since women are more emotional beings, we have to work extremely hard not to get at least a tiny bit attached to the guy we’re intimate with — ESPECIALLY if we were just friends with them before that line was crossed.

But back to “Can’t Be Friends”……

This song is proof of why it makes total since to wait until marriage for sex. (again, save your groans, yes I’m going there) Like Trey, we can start off friends with a person, enjoy their company and want to STAY just friends, but once we introduce sex…oh all that is blown to smithereens!!!! Either you or the other person, like Trey, may get caught up in the soul tie and start wanting more from the relationship when the other person just wants to keep it at friends and no more. COME ON I KNOW AT LEAST ONE PERSON OUT HERE HAS BEEN THERE BEFORE!!!! You may have had a good time and felt a ‘love connection’ but it’s just a soul tie tricking you into thinking you’re closer to that person than you are. Before you know it, you’ll find yourself thinking about them when you should be concentrating on work/school, and you’ll feel yourself getting a tad bit jealous if they end up dating someone else. You have no right to be mad or upset…but you still are. You sit there like Trey wishing you never slept with that person because your emotions have you between a rock & a hard place. You want your old friendship back; even though you know it’s not going to happen.

Let’s all take a lesson from Trey Songz and hold off on the intimacy until later because once that line is crossed, there is no turning back. Jumping the gun can put your friendships, happiness, and emotions at risk. Be wise.

– Joc

“Can’t Be Friends Lyrics” – Trey Songz

Look what this girl done did to me
she done cut me off from her good good love.

she told me that those days were gone ( gone, gone, gone)
now I’m sitting here going half crazy

cuz I know she still thinks about me too
and it ain’t no way in **expletive**, that I can be just friends with you (you, you, you)

And I wish we never did it
And I wish we never loved it
And I wish I never fell so deep in love with you and now it ain’t no way we can be friends.

The way it felt, no faking it
maybe we were moving just a little too fast.

But what we’ve done we can’t take it back (back, back, back)
now im sitting here half way crazy

cuz I know she still thinks about me too
and it ain’t no way in **expletive**, that I can be just friends with you (you, you, you)

And I wish we never did it
And I wish we never loved it
And I wish I never fell so deep in love with you and now it aint no way we can be friends.

And all I can say is
la la la la la la la (laaaaa)
la la la la la la la la la (la la la owwww)
la la la la la la (laaaa)
hey

ain’t no telling what we could have been,
ain’t no telling what we could’ve been (Noo)
and if I knew it’d end like this,
I never woulda kissed ya, cuz I fell in love wit ya,
we never woulda kicked it, girl now everythang’s different
I lost my homie, lover, and my friend thats why I wish we never did it

And I wish we never loved it (I wish we never loved it)
And I wish I never fell so deep in love with you and well now it ain’t no way we can be friends.

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Filed under Joc's Observations, Society and Such

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