Monthly Archives: March 2014

18. Graduation. New Beginnings. Raped.

While you were just getting up for the day, I was just getting in from my first class.

While you were walking to your afternoon lecture, I was being raped.

While you were worried about the yard show, I was worried about washing away the filth.

While you pregamed to celebrate the weekend, I pregamed to simply forget.

While you dated the love of your life, I subconsciously chose the wrong guy in an attempt to mask the shame.

While you were worried about finals, I was worried about running into [him].

While you admire my work ethic, I keep it going so I don’t have to face [that] part of me.

While you’re going through romantic partners like it’s no one’s business, I work in my singleness daily fighting voices saying “you’ll never get married.”

While you’re complaining about the consequences you brought on yourself, I’m warring every second to remind myself that “you didn’t asked to be raped.”

While you’re looking through my social media thinking my life is breezy, I’m looking through yours wishing you’d value your life blessings a little more.

 

But,

 

Now

 

as you’re reading this verse thinking “how did she hide it?”, I’m reading it thanking God I don’t look like the trauma I’ve experienced.

 

Jesus is a powerful word that has the ability to transform your darkest moments into beams of inspiration.  He doesn’t force Himself on you but waits – hand open – for you to take hold and be rejuvenated. It’s not as hard as we make it. There are some things that just aren’t logical. According to statistics I should be in prison for vandalism or murder – but I’m not. Like the average rape victim, I should be locked away in an insane asylum or carry a gun, a knife, and an arsenal of other weapons with me at all times – but I don’t. Statistically speaking, I should question how God can allow such a demeaning and traumatic experience to happen to me – but I don’t. The fact that I am who and where I am today (even though I still have emotional scars that are healing) means that there is a Heavenly Father who works all things out for my good and His glory. Yeah I was hurt in the process, but because of Jesus’ saving grace, I am now able to see that bad things happen to people every day. How I react to the bad events in my life will dictate what type of person emerges on the other side of it. I CHOOSE LIFE. I choose to help someone else who has gone through the same tragedy emerge on the other side, healed and in tact. I can let them know that they don’t have to turn to drugs, flings, booze, or anything else to cope…

 

While you were sound asleep in anticipation for work, I was up thanking God that [rape] is not who I am.

– Joc

Advertisements

1 Comment

Filed under Joc's Observations, Quotes To Live By, Society and Such, The Christian Life

The Facts Of Life – Ballers/Shot-Callers vs Billionaires

When I say this photo speaks volumes….I mean the Britannica and the Webster Encyclopedias 10 times over! I am going to really give my 2 cents on this one — there are so many points that this pictures addresses it’s impossible to discuss them all. I’ll try to briefly present my analysis on a few points.

(1) The man standing on the left appears to be African American, while the man on the right appears to be Caucasian. This is not by chance. In my almost 30 years on this Earth, I’ve noticed that there seems to be this innate, infused, disturbingly incorrect belief that possessions = status. I can’t prove this with science, but I personally believe that this way of thinking in the African American community is nothing less than residual damage spawning from slavery. Think about it. Slaves didn’t even have 2 pennies to rub together often times, let alone property that they could truly call their own! I can believe that as generations passed, slaves equated the possessions and land owned by their Caucasian masters with status and power. If a ‘colored man’ had him some land of his own (not sharecropped), and he was able to buy the same clothes similar to the ones that the ‘white folk’ had — oh, he made it! Now switch back today…isn’t this the same thing? Some (not all) African Americans will near ’bout work the entire year with no breaks and eat crackers and ketchup just to save for a $250 PLAIN, t-shirt with nothing on it but a name brand label. It doesn’t matter that they don’t even think it’s that fly…the fact that they can step out and say “oh this…yeah its ** INSERT NAME BRAND HERE**….” is worth the struggle. Not saying that Caucasians don’t do this too — we see it on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills/Orange County/New York/ New Jersey all of the time — but it’s almost public knowledge that African Americans will go to great lengths and live beyond their financial means, just to have a piece of “status”.

(2) The man listed as BILLIONAIRE is listed as wearing pieces that, while over $10, are sensible. Again, I’m not saying African Americans are not capable of becoming billionaires, I’m saying notice that the billionaire in this picture (who just so happens to be Caucasian) hasn’t spent a ton on his clothing or excessive jewelry — aka appearances. TAKE NOTICE! Growing up having friends from all ethnic and racial groups, I noticed that around the time we entered high school, my white friends would wear simple, plain key pieces while a lot of my black friends would easily save $500 to drop on a name brand flight jacket or thousands just to have head-to-toe Coogi or RocaWear. LORD don’t GET me started on those NBA Jersey dresses and sneakers!!!! My point is, while yes, many of my white friends came from privileged background (and still live using that old south money from their family businesses) they seemed to pick and choose where they splurged. They’d wear head to toe Goody’s or Aeropostale and then maybe have a simple charm bracelet that was like $100. Or buy their entire outfit from Target and spend the bulk of their money on their vacations or food. See where I’m going with this? Spending gaudy amounts of money on even gaudier amount of possessions is doing too much. And since (yes, I started a sentence with ‘and’) I identify as African American, I can speak and say that people of color spending your last on the diamond grillz, the rims, the 100 inch plasma flat screens in the 4 x 4 one bedroom apartment while your 5 kids all sleeping in the same bed…that mess is FOR THE BIRDS! Let me also say that I’m not downing the purchase of nice things — shoot, when I start making my millions/billions I plan on doing nice things too, but if you’re going to spend money on tons of possessions, don’t do it JUST to show that ‘you’re rich’ or ‘you made it’. If you have a billion dollars and spend even $1, you’re not a billionaire anymore. Spend because you are making an investment on a key piece or on something smart — not just to be showy or flashy. We all know you’re still struggling. No need to go to great lengths trying to fool us. Chill out folk.

(3) The last thought I want to share about this picture is that people of ALL backgrounds should look at this and learn that dropping outrageous amounts on THINGS, just because or to prove your status is actually super lame and you should be slapped in the back of the neck if you do it. If you’re going to spend money, drop it on a MAC laptop so you can start your business, or on studio equipment so you can record that album you’ve been wanting to put out, or on a vacation for your family — NOT over sized jewelry, and clothing that you don’t even have a walk in closet to put it all in. Basically I’m saying, DON’T LIVE BEYOND YOUR MEANS. Be smart with your money my African American people! If you work hard and SAVE hard…you’ll be able to reach billionaire status; but if you’re constantly buying things you have no business buying right now, it only puts you back and is one more obstacle between you and the ‘good life’ you want to live.

That’s all I have to say about that.

– Joc

1 Comment

Filed under Around The World, Joc's Observations

I AM HOME – By Rich Paschall

SERENDIPITY

A piece of home alone fiction by Rich Paschall

The alarm went off at 6 am as usual.  Instead of hitting the snooze bar, George turned off the alarm and got up.  It was Wednesday, trash collection day in the small Florida town.  He no longer had Ethel to push him out of bed so he had to muster the resolve to get up and take care of the chores.  Jack, the faithful terrier, got up as well and was running around George’s feet as he tried to go through his morning routine.  Terriers do not lack morning energy.

96-Rockers-NKAfter he got dressed and made his way to the kitchen, he started the coffee.  Ethel used to take care of this while George took care of the hyper active dog, but his wife of 40 years was gone now.  George had to make his own coffee.  George had to do all the…

View original post 889 more words

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Common Christian Sense – According To Joc

I’m not sure how this particular post will be received but hey, it’s a post that needs to be posted (in my opinion). As a Christian, I’ve learned that there are some things that are just common Christian sense principles. In this day and age, many Christians are “lenient” when it comes to walking in righteousness and projecting a good, Christ led witness (not judging, just saying) — and are quick to defend what they do. They post every scripture imaginable and retweet the little Jesus chain photos — you know the ones that say “Repost if you love God with all of Your Heart” ??? I used to be one of those people. I lived a ‘wordly’ lifestyle and felt that since I gave my life to Christ in the 2nd grade and that Christ died for my sins, I was excused automatically…plus, the stuff I was doing didn’t seem that bad compared to what some other folk were doing.

Little did I know that while Jesus DID die for our sins, it didn’t give me a pass to live recklessly. I admit there are some gray areas when it comes to things like women wearing pants, or listening to secular music, and going to certain events — but there are some things that clearly don’t line up with walking a godly walk.

Mind you, bad things still occur whether you live a saved life or not, but there are some struggles that are clearly a result of being a ‘wishy washy’ Christian.

I know some people have already stopped reading and have maybe even thrown in an eye roll, but that’s ok…still got love for ya.Though I’m still working hard each day to be a good witness, there are a few scenarios that don’t show good use of Common Christian Sense.

EXAMPLE #1 – You go on telling the FB and friends that you are struggling to pay your bills, and believing God for a financial miracle, but you completely ignore the fact that you go out with your friends almost every week to the club. The money that you spend on outfits, admission, and drinks is money that you could be using to PAY your bills.

EXAMPLE #2 – You go off in church, tearing the floor up and posting videos and photos of you breaking down promising that you’ll live for God, but 24-72 hours later cuss someone out because they rubbed you the wrong way. You usually end with “God is still working on me.” While He MAY be working on you, there are some things you don’t need help with because you KNOW it’s wrong and willingly let it happen.

EXAMPLE # 3 – People drag your name through the mud on a REGULAR basis and you can’t understand why no one wants to do business with you; even though you can not WAIT to get on the phone or social media so you can gossip and talk about who’s doing what with who — despite the fact that you have NO intentions to go to God in prayer asking for Him to fix the situation.

EXAMPLE # 4 – You get drunk almost EVERY SINGLE weekend — all in fun you say — but stay getting carpet burns on those knees praying that God will help you make better grades in school or help you to stop getting fired from jobs that you need or help you to stop sleeping with no good people — oh and that you will stop getting pregnant/getting women pregnant. It’s not adding up to you.

EXAMPLE # 5 (and this is a doozy) –  You participate in sexual RELATIONS other than what is clearly outlined in Genesis (I’m not going any further with this), you participate in sex before marriage, you sexually experiment, etc — but you can’t for the life of you figure out why God hasn’t blessed you with “the One” yet. You go on and on (and on) complaining about being tired of the single life and of how you desire a godly spouse who will love you; but you’ve been shacking with the same person for 2, 10, 20 years giving up the goods (UNMARRIED), yet not requiring a commitment. Not to mention the fact that they are unfaithful to you and require you to give husband or wife benefits without actually being married. Oh and one more thing, YOU curse more than a sailor, drink more than a leprechaun, and are messier than a baby’s diaper — but you still desire a godly spouse….um…yeah…..

And thus concludes my thoughts.

– Joc

3 Comments

Filed under Joc's Observations, The Christian Life

Being Alone May Scare You But….

When I saw this on my friend’s Facebook page I HAD to repost it. For one thing, I’m up late working. On another note, I’ve lived this before — it’s the driving force in why I am a better woman today, a stronger woman at that! Because I went through the ringer,  and now know the importance of keeping God first (seriously, not a cliche) and being wise in your relationship decisions.

I’ll be very transparent here. Back in high school a guy I dated cheated on me. Plain and simple. I was a goody-goody and almost everything went over my head (though I thought I was on my Deliver Us From Eva trip. haha WRONG). But instead of getting out of the relationship, I stayed longer than I should (dumb high school mindset). As a result, that led to a few bad relationships shortly after — all the way up to college really. I was damaged and didn’t even know it. It didn’t click that the reason I was making bad decisions in guys was due to the fact that I wasn’t healed from the bad relationships long ago!

Psalm 147:3 ESV

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

The person I was leaving out of my relationships (even way back then) was God. I wasn’t strong in my relationship with Him and was ignorantly fixed on the assumption that I could heal myself — well I really didn’t think I needed healing in the first place! I self medicated myself by NOT addressing why I was choosing guys that weren’t good for me and all I was doing was making things worse for myself.

LESSON TO BE LEARNED: You may be thinking to yourself “I’ve heard enough of these stories to last my entire life”, but trust it is the truth! You should be single “on purpose” ….meaning don’t just wallow in your singleness, feel sorry for yourself, or want somebody JUST to have someone. Try delving into your career. Make friends. Go out. Casually date. Grow in your relationship with God — once you master that, your entire life will change! SERIOUSLY. You will be intentional about dating, weed out the bad ones, and make wise/smart choices in mates. Trust that it beats being emotionally and mentally damaged by a relationship.

– Joc

1 Comment

Filed under Joc's Observations

Things I learned from last night’s episode of The Walking Dead (3/9/14)

Things I learned from last night’s episode of The Walking Dead (3/9/14)

  1. The same gang that finds Daryl slumped over in the middle of the road is the same group that took over the house Rick, Carl, and Michonne were hiding out in the episode before last. WHYYYYY is Daryl always finding himself linked to these ruffians?! First Merle now these dudes! Come on man!
  2. Daryl may be border line creepy – does anyone know how old Beth is?! The fact that he almost kissed her last night had me screaming to the top of my lungs “Don’t do it! Carol gon kill youuuuu!”
  3. And speaking of Beth and Daryl, does anyone else think that the dog with the one eye was sent as a ‘spy’ to stake out the mortuary by a group who noticed someone was camping out in their territory?
  4. And keeping up with the Beth theme, it’s quite possible that maybe someone from the group saw Beth all alone and rescued her in the heat of the moment and left Daryl unknowingly. It’s possible right?!
  5. Bob looks like a cross between MadTvs Phil Lamarr and Lavar Burton from The Reading Rainbow. That’s it. It had to be said.
  6. Everyone is finally getting together (cue celebration music) YAY!!! All roads lead to TERMINUS – not sure about it though, but hey, if there weren’t twist and turns, this would be ‘almost’ real life. Life ain’t perfect!
  7. Terminus COULD be the same place that Daryl, Bob, and them heard when they were out looking for medical supplies earlier in the season – “those who arrive survive”. I’m kind of excited to see if this is going to be like the fortress on “28 Days Later” and is just a few of government soldiers scrapping to survive.
  8. Terminus has the eerie feeling of “Crawford” in Season 1 of The Walking Dead Game. Hmmm maybe just me. Something’s not right here.

What do you all think?!

– Joc

1 Comment

Filed under Around The World