18. Graduation. New Beginnings. Raped.

While you were just getting up for the day, I was just getting in from my first class.

While you were walking to your afternoon lecture, I was being raped.

While you were worried about the yard show, I was worried about washing away the filth.

While you pregamed to celebrate the weekend, I pregamed to simply forget.

While you dated the love of your life, I subconsciously chose the wrong guy in an attempt to mask the shame.

While you were worried about finals, I was worried about running into [him].

While you admire my work ethic, I keep it going so I don’t have to face [that] part of me.

While you’re going through romantic partners like it’s no one’s business, I work in my singleness daily fighting voices saying “you’ll never get married.”

While you’re complaining about the consequences you brought on yourself, I’m warring every second to remind myself that “you didn’t asked to be raped.”

While you’re looking through my social media thinking my life is breezy, I’m looking through yours wishing you’d value your life blessings a little more.

 

But,

 

Now

 

as you’re reading this verse thinking “how did she hide it?”, I’m reading it thanking God I don’t look like the trauma I’ve experienced.

 

Jesus is a powerful word that has the ability to transform your darkest moments into beams of inspiration.  He doesn’t force Himself on you but waits – hand open – for you to take hold and be rejuvenated. It’s not as hard as we make it. There are some things that just aren’t logical. According to statistics I should be in prison for vandalism or murder – but I’m not. Like the average rape victim, I should be locked away in an insane asylum or carry a gun, a knife, and an arsenal of other weapons with me at all times – but I don’t. Statistically speaking, I should question how God can allow such a demeaning and traumatic experience to happen to me – but I don’t. The fact that I am who and where I am today (even though I still have emotional scars that are healing) means that there is a Heavenly Father who works all things out for my good and His glory. Yeah I was hurt in the process, but because of Jesus’ saving grace, I am now able to see that bad things happen to people every day. How I react to the bad events in my life will dictate what type of person emerges on the other side of it. I CHOOSE LIFE. I choose to help someone else who has gone through the same tragedy emerge on the other side, healed and in tact. I can let them know that they don’t have to turn to drugs, flings, booze, or anything else to cope…

 

While you were sound asleep in anticipation for work, I was up thanking God that [rape] is not who I am.

– Joc

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1 Comment

Filed under Joc's Observations, Quotes To Live By, Society and Such, The Christian Life

One response to “18. Graduation. New Beginnings. Raped.

  1. Oh,what an awful experience….GOD can cleanse your soul and your spirit

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