So I’m Too Intimidating To Date Huh?

10250193_2000443576340_1229375824_n So last week I was hospitalized for only a couple of days due to my somewhat uncanny ability to overwork myself (sound familiar). Needless to say I learned my lesson and even though I had to get right back to work with a shoot in Wilmington, NC, I decided to turn it into a play-business trip.

I took along my friend Rashaad as an assistant and we hit the road early Saturday morning. After taking care of the first round of business, we made a short pit stop to the beach and just chilled and relaxed before the shoot I had scheduled for later that afternoon.

One of the topics that came up in our conversation is the way men/women perceive each other if they are either already established career wise or are in the process of establishing themselves.

Even though I’m a gal and Rashaad’s a guy, we’ve had similar dating experiences in that we’ve had people not approach us because we are “intimidating”.



I cannot tell you how much of a relief that was to hear that men experience this too! I’ve made a lot of the poor dating decisions I have because of just this reason…the guys I really wanted to date would never interact with me because of the steps I’ve made towards establishing myself career wise. ANNOYING!!!

FACT #1 – Women who are somewhat established are not “Deliver Us From Eva” chicks who are ready to cut heads and stomp over men if their resume isn’t tip top perfect! Shoot MY resume isn’t even all the way there yet. That type of stuff messes with women’s self-esteem! Don’t be the guy wondering “wow, why is she dating HIM of all people?!” – ANSWER: because YOU didn’t speak up and she just wants someone who’s making positive steps towards accomplishing his goals.

FACT #2 – Yes I have a full time day job and own 2 growing businesses and have a bachelors…but ** pinch pinch** yep, I’m still a woman! As a man, you have the very same opportunities to do what a successful woman is doing. Maybe not in the same order or through the same avenues, but EVERYONE has the lane to operate in their calling if they are really serious about it and have a good support system. Don’t make a woman feel like she’s not approachable when it’s really just your insecurities creating excuses.

FACT #3 – If you’re interested in someone….LET THEM KNOW! So what if they don’t feel the same! At least you’ve got it off your chest and know where you stand. I personally don’t have a “list” or anything, but I don’t settle for laziness. If I’m here trying to go far in life and you’re still lingering on that dream you’ve had for 20 years and never acted on it…well yeah, that’s just not going to work.

….to be continued. – Joc



Filed under Around The World, Joc's Observations

5 responses to “So I’m Too Intimidating To Date Huh?

  1. Establish standards,and don’t settle for anything less!

    • Travis Patterson

      I personally think that you are a nice sweet person. If a person does’t feel comfortable approaching you then it’s not you, it is them. The person would need to feel confidant in their character. You are amazing and any man that can get pass them selves can see just that.

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