Ray Rice — How An Elevator Changed Everything

Many of us have heard, seen, and witnessed the sensational events that have been going on with Baltimore Ravens ex football star Ray Rice. In case you need a refresher: earlier in the year, he punched his then fiance (now wife) hard enough to knock her out in an elevator during an argument in Atlantic City.

As punishment, he was suspended 2 games and was then allowed to go back to his regularly scheduled program. This week, the full video of the elevator altercation was uncovered by TMZ and caused a MAJOR interruption as after only a few hours of public outcry, his 5 year, $35 million contract deal was terminated and he was suspended indefinitely from the NFL.

Many people have had varying opinions on this matter:

“Good, that’s what he deserves.”

” You can’t keep punishing a man over and over.”

“It is their business and the public should stay out of it”

” She was at fault too — why should he suffer?”……the list goes on and on; back and forth. My analysis of the entire situation is not as black and white….

#1 – Should Ray have lost his job for this? My answer is yes. People need to be fully aware that it is a bonefide fact; if you willingly work in the entertainment industry or play professional sports – or enter into ANY profession that puts you on a stage before millions, you have to understand and accept EVERYTHING that comes with it. Good, bad, and lack of privacy! If Ray were just a normal Joe Schmoe, he’d probably be locked up in someone’s jail for domestic abuse. Then again, he may not and no one would really know about it (his wife doesn’t strike me as the one to cry out if she needs help) because he wouldn’t be in the public eye. But since he DOES did represent A MAJOR COMPANY , he should have had the knowledge that he was not working for ‘Ray Rice Enterprises’, free to do whatever he pleased — he was working for the Baltimore Ravens. Just like in any job, if you do something that sheds a bad light on the company you work for — pink slip to the left!

#2 – Should Ray be blamed totally for this incident? Nope. While he is at fault for taking it as far as to hit her; I believe some of his wife’s behaviors heightened the situation. This reminds me of ton of women I’ve seen in my every day life AND in entertainment ( cough cough Rihanna) who have had their part in the abuse they have been subjected to. NOT blaming it ALL on them, but just highlighting the fact that certain behaviors send a message to abusers that “it’s ok to keep beating me”. Just looking at the video, it seems as though this isn’t their first altercation. I also think it’s safe to say that Mrs. Rice did things that only escalated the situation instead of diffusing it. She could have cried out for help. She could have stayed in the lobby of their hotel until he calmed down. SO many things. I’m a firm believer that God gives us a way of escape when it comes to bad situations and THIS was her way of escape. The fact that she still married him made me just shake my head. There were clearly some things that needed to be sorted out before bringing marriage into the equation; but I guess they didn’t want to wait.

#3 – Since Ray’s wife was hitting on him, was he was justified for hitting her back? A FB friend of mine posted this status which I think calls the situation out perfectly:

Men…if your woman hits you, please be man enough to walk away…not just from that moment, but walk away from her period. Any woman that expresses her anger VIOLENTLY is NOT the one. Do not respond to her violence in ANY way. Do not let her violent ways beget any violence within you. Because if you do, YOU will pay…only you can’t pay because you will lose your job…and your dignity… Some may think it’s fair…some may think it’s not…But if you do what’s right…you automatically protect yourself from “unfair” penalties. You can’t choose your consequences..but you can choose your actions. Ya dig?

#4 Did Ray’s fiance show signs of weakness for marrying him so soon? In my opinion…yes. She is an example of how soul ties, loneliness, stability issues, and the fear of not being loved can place you in a weakened position. I have never been engaged, but I have been in love before and I have dealt with soul ties as well. EVERY woman desires to have a love like she’s always dreamed of; but some will seek to hold onto at least a sliver of it at any cost.  There was nothing wrong with waiting a few months for the marriage in order to get some issues and counseling out on the table — maybe they DID get counseling and we just didn’t know. Whatever the case, if he hits her again and neither one of them is totally delivered from the hurt and anger they both clearly seem to harbor — this is going to happen again and again and again. 10636258_759554854103935_4339651496112063955_n

BUT just to remind you, this is just my unsolicited commentary on the situation that is FLOODING my notifications. Still said a prayer for this couple and others in similar situations. BREAK THE CYCLE OF ABUSE! Love your sons the right way and try your best to be a positive, active parent/family member . Show your girls what TRUE love is through your own marriage or by sharing the lessons on your mistakes.

– Joc

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