Though you can probably already tell, I’m a woman who can get around the interweb pretty well. (I like saying interweb) I come across hundreds of articles — some better than others — offer up my commentary, and share it with you all!
This morning while getting ready for work, I get a notification from “THE PRAYING WOMAN” (a Christian woman-based blog I follow) and the subject line read:
Christian Dating: 5 Ways To Avoid a Rebound Relationship
If you’re like me, you’ve had your share of rebound crushes and dating experiences — some of them you wish you could take back. Right?! I KNOW I’m not the only one!
Anyway, I decided to open it up the link while sitting in the coffeehouse drive thru and thought back to the last ‘rebounder’ I came in contact with. Just to be clear, a ‘rebounder’ doesn’t have to necessarily be looking for an actual relationship. It can simply be an intimate friendship with someone of the opposite sex. I’ve found by observation (and personal experience) that when a person gets out of a relationship, especially if it’s a long term one, they find themselves in the awkward space of going from having constant interaction with the opposite sex to virtually nothing at all. This is when they’ll strike up close friendships with someone of opposite sex to get that one-on-one time they used to have with their ex.
LISTEN to me when I say NO INTIMACY or SEXUALLY based interactions have to occur….. a friendly hug, a playful hand hold, a tussle or fight, a deep conversation — any one of these things can satisfy a ‘rebounder’s’ need for the opposite sex while avoiding actually getting in a relationship. Remember, ‘rebounders’ are never really looking to get into anything serious, but just look for someone to have fun with while they figure out their feelings for their ex. Is it fair to the new person? HECK NO….but it doesn’t stop people from doing it.
SO now that we’ve reestablished the motives of a ‘rebounder’ — I can list the tips the article gave to AVOID being caught up in their wave of sappy Drake songs and ill intended ‘friendly dates’.
1. Find out how recent their last relationship was. This is a key step in determining whether or not this person is on the rebound. Steer clear of anyone who has ended a relationship within the past three months. They’re probably not ready to jump right into another relationship (even if they think they are) . Some are just looking for someone to help them deal with their recent break-up. [As soon as] you’ve served your purpose, [there will be] no need for you anymore. Sad, but true!
2. Ask them.Don’t be afraid to ask them. Straight out… “I know it hasn’t been long since your breakup. Do you feel like you’re at a place where you’re able to love again?” Make sure you take note of their body language while they’re responding. It will tell you a lot!
3. Pay attention to how often they mention the ex.Even better, what does this person have to say about their ex? If they’re constantly talking about their ex (even if it’s in a bad way) , they’re still emotionally attached.It’s probably a good idea to give this person space to sort out their feelings before pursuing anything further.
4. Listen to how they talk to you.If they rarely mention anything about the the two of you as far as a future, or seems as though they’re constantly keeping their options open even though they are supposed to be in a relationship with you, then there’s a good chance, they’re rebounding. They might enjoy your company but isn’t ready for a commitment.
5. Evaluate how they treat you.If they constantly want to be intimate, even after you have made it painfully clear, NO SEX, yet they don’t want to take you out on a real date or invest quality time to really get to know you, this person is probably rebounding.
You can read this article in its entirety here at : http://theprayingwoman.com/2015/01/30/christian-dating-5-ways-to-avoid-a-rebound-relationship/ ** image also courtesy of theprayingwoman.com