(continued from Life-Changing Lessons from A Broken Leg (Part 1 of 2))
By the fifth day of week two, my voice was functioning at about 87% and while I was physically tired and still feeling icky, the week wasn’t overwhelming – UNTIL – I walked into my parents’ house to my mother running around frantic and my grandma sitting awkwardly in her chair grimacing in silence. Once I asked my mom what was going on, she revealed just seconds before I’d walked into the house, my grandmother had fallen while exercising and she was contemplating on whether or not to call the ambulance. Since my grandmother is mere months away from her 90th birthday, no chances were taken and in the ambulance, to the ER she went. Mind you, it was freezing cold outside and despite still being sick myself, I immediately began to pray and joined my parents in the trek to the ER behind the ambulance. My grandmother was struggling not to go into hysteria as fears and statistics began to bombard her head. Within the hour, we found out that she’d broken her leg/hip. We were ALL stunned.
If you know anything about geriatrics or have been around an elderly person, you know that for a healthy adult, the same injury that could take 4 to 6 weeks to recover from, could take an elderly person a year to heal. I basically spent the night in the ER before going home for an hour of sleep them back to work to finish up the week.
#LIFE-CHANGING LESSON B: you can plan all you want, but you will NEVER be in full control of the future. Tread wisely.
Getting sick totally changed every plan I had in a day. Plans that I had in place for months – including church choir duties – instantly crumbled into nothing more than good intentions. My grandmother (who has NEVER had a major surgery) at the ripe old age of 89 had her life changed IN AN INSTANT as her break required surgery. This further solidified the truth that I always really knew about life here on this earth – we’re not 100% in control of it. Your job, your health, your money, your family, your friends, your possessions, your status could all SHIFT in a nanosecond without any warning. It CAN be a scary reality, but it doesn’t have to be. Being at peace with this life-truth challenges me to give people their flowers while they’re living and treat folks with respect. It challenges me to love the people who are for me and show grace to those who don’t understand me. It prompts me to really be clear about what I want in life, and do what I can and need to live my best life.
Well…. it’s now nearing the end of week three and while everyone has been running around getting themselves together for Halloween, I’ve been making daily arrangements to pack for work while staying the night with my grandmother at the hospital as she recovers from her surgery. I’m dragging from fatigue and I am seriously behind on photography work, but I love my grandmother and desire to do what I can to help. While I’M still not at 100% health myself, I’ll tell you, the conversations had and the laughs shared between my grandmother and I have forever altered my faith in genuine family connection.
#LIFE-CHANGING LESSON C: family connection in its purest form is more important than anything in this universe (behind a relationship with God through Christ).
My entire life I have never lived in the same town as anyone on either side of my family. My nuclear family (dad, mom and I) have pretty much been ‘loners’ in a sense. This is the first time in my entire life that I’ve been able to physically see someone from my extended family daily, drop in to say hi, eat dinner together, watch a movie, and talk about random memories without the pressure of the sun setting. My love for my grandmother and appreciation for my family, in general, has grown exponentially. Growing up (before cell phones, the internet, and texting) I depended on my parents to “remind” me to call my family; not because I didn’t love them, but because I would always wonder “what will we talk about? I’d rather just wait until we drive up and visit them.” Which is what would usually happen. I actually did myself a disservice because while I would eventually talk to my grandparents, cousins, long-distance friends, I missed out on so many opportunities to connect. This week recovering with my grandmother has challenged me to continue to put the phone down when talking with loved ones (because there will be time to business later). It’s also brought on regrets that my other grandparents didn’t live long enough to know me as I am now. A woman who can converse, laugh, take care of, and be there for them as a friend. I can only give what I have to my family now. Which brings me to the last life-changing lesson I’ve learned in the past several weeks….
#LIFE-CHANGING LESSON D: I desire to be some man’s wife and somebody’s mama some day and if that has to be later than sooner, I’ll be okay. I’d rather keep moving forward and learn all I can before the next season in my life.
The past year as a single woman has ushered me into a period of reflection: What type of marriage do I see myself having? What type of wife and mother do I see myself being? What type of man do I TRULY see myself marrying? What do I need to work on personally?
The time spent with my grandmother has answered virtually every question on the list. This week I did things I NEVER thought I’d do and sacrificed comforts that I would rather not give up – but I did them out of my love and respect for family. I’ve confirmed in my heart that if I’m going to be some man’s wife and somebody’s mama, I want to BE present. I want to nurture, support, and comfort my family – even if that means sacrificing reasonable comforts of my own. While it took some time to reacclimate to the ‘single life’, I realized that aside from my ex-boyfriend and I having different ideas, I’m single at this very moment for another purpose – to help take care of my grandmother and to grow more into the woman I say I want to be. If I were married right now, there is NO WAY I’d be able to learn all that I’ve recently learned because I’d be splitting my time with my husband and taking care of my own home. If I was a mother, I’d be doing the same. My mind, and time would be split IF I weren’t in the space that I’m in now. While I do desire to be married before I’m 90, I’ve realized that if I say I truly want to be the best wife I can be and marry the best husband for me and be the best mom my kids could ever ask for – I have no choice but to keep moving forward, take the lessons I’ve learned, get back out there/apply them, and leave the rest up to God.
If you see me around town this weekend let me know what your thoughts are on what I’ve had to say. I know I’m not alone. I’d love to hear your story and cheer you on in your journey to a better you!
Be blessed, Joc