Monthly Archives: July 2018

30 Going on Forever

Turning 30 changed my life.

For the better.

For the first time ever, I am truly experiencing the freedom of adulthood – and it’s at times, unnerving.

In between a fresh start and a familiar end.

In between responsible bills and whimsical immaturity.

Turning 30 has unlocked a new dimension of health consciousness, relational consciousness, and self-discovery.

 

At this moment, I am the healthiest I’ve been in a LONG while. When I say that, I don’t mean everything is perfect, but I am more aware of my body – what goes in it and what comes out. It’s my desire to feed myself with things that are spiritually, emotionally, and physically good for me, while intentionally denying any and everything that is not.

I cook more at home. I spend more time with God. I spend more time with FAMILY. I am more open to failure, knowing that failure is an event, not a person. I’ve learned to reject the lies of finding the [perfect] man and being the [perfect] wife and [perfect] mother; choosing instead to embrace the future God has for me – which will in itself be perfectly tailored!

I’ve learned that it’s okay to say ‘no’. Just ‘no’ with no explanation needed; because not doing so can lead to wasted time and much pain. I’ve come to realize that it is not my obligation to entertain relationships (romantic or platonic) I truly have no interest in maintaining for the sake of “not hurting any feelings”. It’s okay for a friend to be a friend — nothing more, nothing less. It’s okay if I don’t “gel” with someone naturally — there are billions of people in this world and we are all perfectly different. I know that at times, God will separate us from people or situations that we would otherwise be too stubborn to separate ourselves from.

I know that as a creative soul, there will be a slump or two over time; but with God as my North Star and my great support system – that too shall pass.

I now know that I don’t have to wait to become a mother to love like one. There are so many little ones that I love and pray for with all of my heart and that’s just awesome.

Turning 30 has reminded me to –

— start that business!

— go on that date!

— hit the road!

— take that day off!

— sing that song!

I am so thankful for all that has transpired in my life (horrible and great) thus far. I am truly looking forward to growing in God for the next 70 + years and experiencing the great blessings in store!

— Joc

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Filed under Dear Diary, It's Me Joc