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Ephesians 5 verse 21-33 is a popular piece of scripture that’s almost ALWAYS used in Christian counseling or when giving advice to individuals getting serious about dating for marriage.
Wives submit yourselves to your husbands.
The majority of us tend to stop at there at verse 22 but no one really focuses on what follows in verses 23-25:
“For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” (NLT version)
This talks about SACRIFICE. Jesus gave His life up for the church.
So yes, a woman should submit herself to her husband BUT he should be making sacrifices for her.
How can a woman be expected to submit to a man that she can’t respect?! The answer is simple. You can’t respect a man who:
- Cheats with other women
- Doesn’t work and isn’t out looking for a job
- Expects his wife to support the family
- Abuses his wife
If you’re a guy thinking about marriage or are currently married, you’re not the “man of the house” if you just boss everyone else around! That’s not the way it’s supposed to be! A godly man does SO much more than that! He protects, provides, and sacrifices for his wife and children.
As a man, you only command respect if you:
- take care of things concerning your family
- are responsible
- do what needs to be done so your family is taken care of
- get out and work (even if your wife makes more than you)
- are a good parent
- put your family first
Anything else will get a…….
Ladies catch a lot of flack for their struggle to submit to their husbands (yes I’ll acknowledge by the time we get into relationships we’re used to doing things our way) but rarely are men challenged to adopt a lifestyle that truly reflects a lifestyle worthy of submission.
So if you’re a woman dating a man who constantly cheats on you or abuses you in any way — you need to get out NOW! It’s not going to get better. Marrying him will only bring it out.
If you’re a woman dating a man who is always bouncing from job-to-job because he simply doesn’t want to work or if you’re married to a man who ups and quits his job out of nowhere — get help now! True, women can do these things but shouldn’t be expected to keep the house, raise the kids, AND take care of things outside the house. If you’re a woman who insists on doing that then fine. But just know it shouldn’t be EXPECTED of you if you want your relationship to mirror what God calls it to be. There needs to be balance! A man is not living up to what a true man is if he expects YOU to be the only one holding a steady job and providing for the family as a woman. No ma’am. I’m not knocking him if he makes LESS money than you — that’s doable — at least he’s showing that he’s willing to work to support his family. But if you’re dating or thinking about marrying a man who just simply refuses to do anything but spend money — GET OUT NOW! If you’re already married GET COUNSELING NOW!!!
If you’re a woman dating or married to a man who expects you to change the tires, mow the lawn, drive the broken down car when he drives the new one, fix the leaky faucet, pay for the meals, pick HIM up and take him to work because he doesn’t feel like driving — GET HELP NOW! This behavior is not worthy of respect. Yeah if you’re married it’s not as easy, but with prayer and ACTION it’s possible for your husband to see where he needs to step up.
If you don’t, then you just signed yourself up for a lifetime of unnecessary stress that you as a wife shouldn’t have to take on.
Please know that this is not to slander men or badmouth them but it’s just something I noticed I thought needed to be addressed.
Relevant? Methinks so! MUST READ!
First Inaugural Address
In the City of New York
Thursday, April 30, 1789
On Thursday, April 30, 1789, our first President, the father of our country, took his oath of office in New York City at Federal Hall on Wall Street. The Bible on which the oath was sworn belonged to New York’s St. John’s Masonic Lodge. The new President gave his inaugural address before a joint session of the two Houses of Congress assembled inside the Senate Chamber.
What I will capture in this posting are all of his references to God Almighty and the significance of these words in light of God’s promises to the children of Israel.
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On the eve of another year of life all I can say is WOW! Year 27 has been one of the tougher years I’ve experienced, but it’s also been one of the most rewarding.
This year I’ve fought for my hopes, my dreams, my sanity like never before! I’ve come to recognize the enemy (the devil) for who he is more than ever, and know FA SHO that God has set my future up to be banging beyond words (exceedingly and abundantly more prosperous and purposeful than I can even think). In this past year, I’ve learned hands-on how to recognize the enemy’s ploys and let me tell ya’ll something…he really IS the ultimate hater! He knows (as every Christian should) that in the end WE WIN; so he tries to throw us off track. Nope, nope, nope — when it’s time for me to stand before God, my name WILL be in that book of life and not only that, I know I can confidently declare that I will continue to see the goodness of the Lord (YAWEH) in the land of the living! God has proven Himself TOO many times for me to lose remembrance of that.
David said it best when he was being persecuted/hunted in Psalm 103 ESV –
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
As a child of God saved by the grace and shed blood of Jesus Christ, I can collect on EVERY SINGLE benefit promised to me in His Word! I truly had to reflect on and remind myself of this every time the enemy tried to douse my creativity, inspiration, strength, peace, and joy. Let me tell you, it was tough but the Word works when you work the Word!!! (Isaiah 55:11 ESV “So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;it shall not return to me empty,but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it. [says the Lord]”)
Year 27 has taught me the PRACTICAL importance of God’s Word. Many agnostics, atheists, even wayward “self proclaimed” Christians have trouble understanding this. When I was coming along as a youngster in church (even up into my early 20s) I TOO didn’t understand this principle. I looked at the bible as a huge history book with unfair rules I was sure was going to take the rest of my life to master and remember. BUT to my pleasant surprise, after pressing a proverbial reset button, and FIRST ASKING God for wisdom, revelation and understanding, that’s when my life began to change for the better. Failing to ASK for understanding is where most people go wrong. If you feel like God is silent or non existent know that He’s VERY real and VERY alive — often times you just feel He’s silent because you don’t ask for understanding. The exact solution to many of the problems we cry out about don’t lie in the snap of God’s finger, but by simply reading and internalizing His promises/instructions (aka His Word bka The Holy Bible). That’s the ENTIRE reason He gave it to us. He isn’t PHYSICALLY, HUMANLY walking around, so He speaks to us and counsels/directs us through His Words.
As I gear up for year 28 of this blessed life, I am thankful that God has not only allowed me to survive the trials of last year, but THRIVE from them and go forth with a new knowledge of who HE is and what He can do. If you know me personally, you know that one place in particular where I’ve experienced the most ups and downs has been in the realm of relationships (platonic and romantic). I’ve be spat on, stolen from, done dirty, and everything in between and one thing I began praying for earnestly FIVE years ago was that if it was God’s will for me to be single for the rest of my life and do work for Him then so be it. I decided that it was time to let Him drive because He knows best. But I also reminded Him that He said in Psalm 37:4 that if I delight myself in the Him as Lord, He would give me the desires of my heart. My desire was/is to be a godly wife/mother one day…so I also prayed that He would honor my request. I strove (and continue to strive) daily to honor God with my time, my finances, my talents, and my body (celibacy). Looking back in the wonderful prayer journal my sister in Christ Vanessia gifted me for my birthday LAST year, it is sprinkled with scriptures and prayers piggybacking on what I began five years ago. The prayers were that God’s will be done in the area of relationships. Wouldn’t you know, towards the last half of 2015, God brought to fruition step one of my desire? Yep, after FIVE years of marinating, healing from past relationships, and growing spiritually, God positioned a wonderful, brilliant, godly man to FIND ME! Do you hear that folks …. he FOUND me! For the first time, I didn’t feel like I had to be the hunter, the aggressor, flip over backwards to get his attention, change who I was to fit in his world, compromise my morals — my man found me. Not only that, my boyfriend has taught me so much about God’s will for dating/courting as we take our courtship day by day. He is very intentional in pursuing me and making sure I know how much he respects and cares for me. That’s really EVERY woman’s dream! Our relationship is something that we both honor as we work individually and collectively to live out God’s will for our lives. Though our relationship is still “fresh”, we are learning to balance preparing for the future while still learning each other today. We are BOTH celibate, we both serve and honor God (YAWEH), we are both followers of Christ’s teachings, and we both have similar goals and dreams. All I have to say is I am SO thankful God had me wait. I’ll admit, it’s not always fun being put on ice, but it’s definitely worth it holding out for God to make the move.
I will end with saying that I pray and believe year 28 will be an even better year than the last. I know there may be some growth opportunities sprinkled in, but I am confident that God will honor His Word that His plans are to prosper me, not to harm me; to give me a great hope, and an amazing future! Here’s to 28! #ProcessToThePromise #BirthdayEve
Can we just PAUSE for this greatness?! #WEENOnline WOW @mistyonpointe recreated #EdgarDegas for #HarpersBazaar http://ow.ly/YbtOG
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