Tank And The Bangas NPR #TinyDeskConcert

If you’ve had a long MONTH like I have, then you’ll enjoy this mini concert given by the recent winners of NPR’s #TinyDeskContest TANK AND THE BANGAS! Based in New Orleans, this group has pushed the envelope of everything I once knew as music. To be totally honest, I was losing hope for music in terms of innovation. Though I mainly listen to Christian/Sacred music, jazz and neo-soul holds a very special place in my heart. Something about it (like gospel or worship) lifts me up and away from the stresses of day-to-day responsibilities.

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Yet and still, that genre has yet to birth something new. Other than Musiq Soulchild’s most recent project, and newcomer Chantae Cann — there is a familiarity that isn’t bad, but not altogether great!

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THAT WAS UNTIL….. I happened upon TANK AND THE BANGAS’ submission video to the NPR Tiny Desk Contest. TALK…ABOUT…IT! The multifaceted eccentricities and grooves of each line and stanza took my mind on an unfamiliar musical rollercoaster that left me exhilarated and wanted more! I immediately subscribed to the groups’ Facebook page eager for more updates. Today, on what is shaping up to be the end of a SERIOUSLY LONG work week, I came across the gem posted below. When I though TANK and her people couldn’t do it…they gave me more! I think I’ll wrap up my commentary here and let you enjoy the fruits of my scrolling. Remember, if this has been a tough day, week, month — good music and prayer can always bring you up outta that funk! HAPPY FRIDAY YA’LL!

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Blessings, Joc

CONCERT HERE:

http://www.npr.org/event/music/519418207/tank-and-the-bangas-tiny-desk-concert?utm_source=twitter.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=nprmusic&utm_term=music&utm_content=20170310

 

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I Finally Figured Out Why So Many Toxic Men Were Drawn To Me

This afternoon, as I’m perusing Facebook looking for great content to repost, I come across an article from Bolde.com titled “I Finally Figured Out Why So Many Toxic Men Were Drawn To Me”.

**CLICK**

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I wasn’t a fan of the profanity, but the points were spot on!

1. I WAS TOO NICE. 

2. I GAVE THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT. 

3. I WAS THEIR HOPE OF CHANGE. 

4. I WAS A FIXER. 

5. I AM TOO EMPATHETIC. 

6. I HAD GIVEN UP ON LOVE.

7. I DIDN’T HAVE HEALTHY BOUNDARIES. 

8. I WAS A GOOD LISTENER. 

9. I WAS TOO LAID-BACK AND EASYGOING. 

10. I DIDN’T VALUE MYSELF. 

11. I STAYED IN SITUATIONS LONGER THAN NECESSARY. 

I won’t take time going through the details, but I will say that this article speaks to my mindset in my late teens – early twenties! EVERY LAST POINT! I don’t know what’s wilder — the fact that there is someone out here who could put a “name” to my mindset, or the fact that someone just described my little dating life to a tee — either way, this is good!

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Take some time to check out the full article: http://www.bolde.com/finally-figured-out-many-toxic-men-drawn/

Blessings, Joc

 

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Ephesians 5 (MSG)

Ephesians 5The Message (MSG)

Wake Up from Your Sleep

1-2 Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.

3-4 Don’t allow love to turn into lust, setting off a downhill slide into sexual promiscuity, filthy practices, or bullying greed. Though some tongues just love the taste of gossip, those who follow Jesus have better uses for language than that. Don’t talk dirty or silly. That kind of talk doesn’t fit our style. Thanksgiving is our dialect.

You can be sure that using people or religion or things just for what you can get out of them—the usual variations on idolatry—will get you nowhere, and certainly nowhere near the kingdom of Christ, the kingdom of God.

6-7 Don’t let yourselves get taken in by religious smooth talk. God gets furious with people who are full of religious sales talk but want nothing to do with him. Don’t even hang around people like that.

8-10 You groped your way through that murk once, but no longer. You’re out in the open now. The bright light of Christ makes your way plain. So no more stumbling around. Get on with it! The good, the right, the true—these are the actions appropriate for daylight hours. Figure out what will please Christ, and then do it.

11-16 Don’t waste your time on useless work, mere busywork, the barren pursuits of darkness. Expose these things for the sham they are. It’s a scandal when people waste their lives on things they must do in the darkness where no one will see. Rip the cover off those frauds and see how attractive they look in the light of Christ.

Wake up from your sleep,
Climb out of your coffins;
Christ will show you the light!

So watch your step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get. These are desperate times!

17 Don’t live carelessly, unthinkingly. Make sure you understand what the Master wants.

18-20 Don’t drink too much wine. That cheapens your life. Drink the Spirit of God, huge draughts of him. Sing hymns instead of drinking songs! Sing songs from your heart to Christ. Sing praises over everything, any excuse for a song to God the Father in the name of our Master, Jesus Christ.

Relationships

21 Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.

22-24 Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.

25-28 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.

29-33 No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.

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Wives Submit to your Husbands…

Ephesians 5 verse 21-33 is a popular piece of scripture that’s almost ALWAYS used in Christian counseling or when giving advice to individuals getting serious about dating for marriage.

Wives submit yourselves to your husbands.

The majority of us tend to stop at there at verse 22 but no one really focuses on what follows in verses 23-25:

“For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church.  As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” (NLT version)

This talks about SACRIFICE. Jesus gave His life up for the church.

So yes, a woman should submit herself to her husband BUT he should be making sacrifices for her.

How can a woman be expected to submit to a man that she can’t respect?! The answer is simple. You can’t respect a man who:

  • Cheats with other women
  • Doesn’t work and isn’t out looking for a job
  • Expects his wife to support the family
  • Abuses his wife

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If you’re a guy thinking about marriage or are currently married, you’re not the “man of the house” if you just boss everyone else around! That’s not the way it’s supposed to be! A godly man does SO much more than that! He protects, provides, and sacrifices for his wife and children.

As a man, you only command respect if you:

  • take care of things concerning your family
  • are responsible
  • do what needs to be done so your family is taken care of
  • get out and work (even if your wife makes more than you)
  • are a good parent
  • put your family first

 

Anything else will get a…….

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Ladies catch a lot of flack for their struggle to submit to their husbands (yes I’ll acknowledge by the time we get into relationships we’re used to doing things our way) but rarely are men challenged to adopt a lifestyle that truly reflects a lifestyle worthy of submission.

So if you’re a woman dating a man who constantly cheats on you or abuses you in any way — you need to get out NOW! It’s not going to get better. Marrying him will only bring it out.

If you’re a woman dating a man who is always bouncing from job-to-job because he simply doesn’t want to work or if you’re married to a man who ups and quits his job out of nowhere — get help now! True, women can do these things but shouldn’t be expected to keep the house, raise the kids, AND take care of things outside the house. If you’re a woman who insists on doing that then fine. But just know it shouldn’t be EXPECTED of you if you want your relationship to mirror what God calls it to be. There needs to be balance! A man is not living up to what a true man is if he expects YOU to be the only one holding a steady job and providing for the family as a woman. No ma’am. I’m not knocking him if he makes LESS money than you  — that’s doable — at least he’s showing that he’s willing to work to support his family. But if you’re dating or thinking about marrying a man who just simply refuses to do anything but spend money — GET OUT NOW! If you’re already married GET COUNSELING NOW!!!

If you’re a woman dating or married to a man who expects you to change the tires, mow the lawn, drive the broken down car when he drives the new one, fix the leaky faucet, pay for the meals, pick HIM up and take him to work because he doesn’t feel like driving — GET HELP NOW! This behavior is not worthy of respect. Yeah if you’re married it’s not as easy, but with prayer and ACTION it’s possible for your husband to see where he needs to step up.

If you don’t, then you just signed yourself up for a lifetime of unnecessary stress that you as a wife shouldn’t have to take on.

Please know that this is not to slander men or badmouth them but it’s just something I noticed I thought needed to be addressed.

Be blessed,

Joc

 

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Why Christian Dating/Marriage Is NOT 50/50

Today’s dating/marriage culture is 50/50 which comes from a selfish, faithless mindset. It says, “you have to meet me 50/50 one hundred percent of the time because I have to look out for me and be ready to go the moment you deviate from that.”

That’s fear. That’s lack of faith. Love is the epitome of faith. Two imperfect people CHOOSING to love one another through minor faults and quirks because they’re worth it.

 

If you’re a Christian (a follower of Christ and His teachings, believing that He is the Son of the Living God) you should understand that this is worldly thinking. (See Romans 12:2) As Christians what and WHO we believe by faith won’t make “logical” sense to someone who hasn’t renewed their mind with the faith of God. This is why many out here find themselves bouncing from relationship to relationship; never really committing their heart, in fear of not being able to wholeheartedly trust anyone other than themselves. I admit, I’ve had struggles with that over the years career and relationship wise. I felt that if I — JOCELYN — couldn’t handle something on my own, it wasn’t worth going with that flow. I thought that if I could organize, plan, and execute EVERYTHING in my life EXACTLY the way I thought it should go (despite not having peace about things and having the Holy Spirit nearly rip my sleeve off trying to drag me in the other way) then it wasn’t right for me.

This is a TERRIBLE way of viewing ANYTHING…especially relationships and marriage! Every married couple I know who’s been married for more than 10 years have ALL said that a thriving, godly marriage will never always be 50/50 equally split. There will be times (at any given time) where one spouse will end up sacrificing more for the other. While everyone’s innate concept of sacrifice varies depending on our personal experiences — a sacrifice is made. That’s just one of the reasons why communication is important before and after getting married. It’s vitally important to be on the same page regarding how you expect a godly marriage to operate, how you define sacrifice, and how you receive love.

 

Say your significant other is finishing up school while you’re the only one working full time .. that’s not going to be 50/50. Say one of your parents takes ill or needs help bouncing back from a life upset; you’ll need to be there emotionally for them and may need to visit them for an extended period of time or spot them some money (which will be pulled form your household income) to help them out…..that’s not going to be 50/50.

 

As a Christian woman, I strive to obtain and enjoy God’s best for my life. Period. Over the years I’ve had to grow and renew my old way of thinking to adopt a mindset that some may view as “traditional” or “unfair”. You call it unfair, I call is wise. I don’t want to enter a marriage ignorantly believing that I can have my best life with my future husband while having everything split 50/50 all of the time. I’m learning now that healthy marriages don’t operate like that. Marriage (shoot courtships/relationships period) requires stepping out of your comfort zone and sacrificing some of your comfort to contribute to the relationship working. If that means sacrificing down time after working during the day so I can make sure my future husband has a listening ear or a meal (even if I pick it up on those busy days. lol) that’s something I’ll be willing to sacrifice. If we’re taking a long trip and it’s evident that I’m frazzled or worn down, I expect my future husband to take the wheel to give me some recovery time. There are SO many things that I’ve learned (and still am learning) about God’s intentions for a love that mirrors His. I’m far from perfect, but I thought I’d share a bit on what I’ve learned and what I’ve seen going on around the country and social media.

Blessing, Joc

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#MotivationMonday

FORBES QUOTE OFTHE DAY

We can do anything we want, the trick is, it’s usually waiting for us just beyond our comfort zone.

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…And I’m Thankful For… #MyFamily

I am thankful for my family. This week has veen tough for me. Tougher than many may realize actually — but neverthelss, it thrusted me into this ongoing reflection of my nuclear family of my parents.  I realized that I am blessed to have them. Sure I knew it, but this weeks I’m really understanding and grasping how truly blessed I am.

Growing up, I guess you can say is sort of …. Kind of …. took my parents for granted. They were a normal part of my routine and even though I learned EVERYONE’s family wasn’t like that – I still didn’t comprehend the depth of how much God had blessed me.

 

I remember looking at home videos and rummaging through old pictures not really noticing that in the background of every VHS gospel music was playing, or that every other photo was of me in my Sunday dress or my parents getting ready for some special occasion. I would laugh at scenes where my dad would catch my mom off guard while putting on her makeup or recording “Good Luck Charlie” videos for me even though I was too young to understand at the time he was recording them.

It somehow didn’t occur  to me how much of a stretch it was for my dad to coach 4-5 sports and still make it to my kindergarten graduation (even if he had to jet out of there and head back to his players). I didn’t stop to think that the seemingly effortless way my mom knew exactly what I needed those days I was sick – wasn’t effortless at all. Half of the time, I didn’t realize she put HER own health and energy at risk making sure her little one was fine.

As I climbed my way to high school, I understood more, but still had a hard time understanding how blessed I was to have the family I did. By that time, I had broken curfew to hang out with friends – cringing every time my folks would call me to tell me I needed to get my tail home – not understanding that every moment I stayed away from the safety of the house, I was putting my life in danger.  I now think on the times my dad would pull out his old record player and dance in the middle of the living room with my mom to their favorite oldies.

 

All of that…. I’m thankful for.

I’m thankful to have parents who work hard on their marriage every day because they realize that #1 GOD is the glue that helps them through hard times, #2 you’ve gotta put in work to reap the rewards of a lasting marriage, and #3 marriage is work. Life is work. Kids are work.

 

For this I’m thankful.

Random thoughts — but nevertheless — thoughts of thanks.

— Joc

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