Tag Archives: church

**The Road To 27** Post 3 of 7 – Friends and Relationships

** Reflections on Friends and Relationships **

I was actually debating whether or not to even reflect on this because I could go on forever. But for your sakes (and attention spans) I won’t take long.

These past 27 years haven’t always lent themselves to the best friendships and relationships until just recently. Since as far ago as I can remember, I’ve always wanted “friends of my own”. I know that sounds neurotic, but being the miniature tv addict I was, I wanted a core group of friends like the ones on The BabySitters Club or Harriet the Spy. Up until middle school I had those friends — but heading into high school some of the people I thought were closest to me, actually weren’t as loyal as I thought.

Wait. Let’s back up to the beginning and cover relationships. 


My little adolescent/tween view on relationships and dating was the same as my friendships. Since the day I and three other girls in my kindergarten class were molested by classmates (who were clearly exposed to too much sex), my view on relationships was flawed. From that point on, all I wanted was a boyfriend who would protect me (as my father strove to do each day), and grow into a husband that loved me like the Disney princess my parents always told me I was. I failed to realize that NO ONE under the age of 18 or 20 is truly equipped to protect ANYONE — they’re just learning to handle themselves. I remember the night I told my babysitter what had happened, I was scared to my tiny 5-6 year old core! Now that I’m really taking time to think on it, I was more embarrassed than anything because I didn’t want my parents to think I was ‘fast’. That’s why none of you have probably heard about what happened until this very second. I took all of that trauma, bottled it up, and carried it with me all the way until high school and college. Because I didn’t allow myself to really form the right view on relationships (despite the wonderful example I had in my parents) I was naive, too trustworthy, and felt like I could read people a little better than I actually could.  This led to me making MANY MANY bad judges of character and a few bad choices in boyfriends.

WHEW — did you get all of that?! Ok, let’s keep going and put it all together.

DAY 3 PART 2So here it is, 2010. I’m out of college, full time in the work force, and secretly damaged from all that I’d been through. It was serious, painstaking work attempting to really trust ANYONE — even the friends that were still sticking with me. By 2011, things with the last guy I dated blew up into oblivion and all I could do was just cry out to God…why me?! Why am I always the one getting lied to?! Why do these people insist on chipping away at the last bit of kindness I can muster up?! Why do people insist on misinterpreting my well meaning friendship? Will I be alone and friendless forever?! (dramatic I know, but this is what honestly went through my mind — it made for great poetry though, I’ve got notebooks full!)

That’s when God began to answer the prayers I’d prayed for so long! I began reconnecting with old friends, gaining new ones, and while my dating life was pretty much non existent, I was allowing God to heal me from my past hurts. Now, here I am on the brink of my 27th birthday surrounded by the best friends I could have ever wished for — and can testify that God certainly gave me double for my trouble! The dating life is still — eh — but hey, at least I can say I am free from the bondage of relationships’ past AND I’m looking to get my feet wet in the dating pool again! I’m looking forward to a wonderful future with great friends, an awesome boyfriend (whoever that will be), and a wonderful life!


Photo shot and edited by Rich Griffis (www.richgriffis.com)

[photo by Rich Griffis ]


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Filed under Dear Diary, It's Me Joc

Have YOU Written Down Your Plan for 2014? I HAVE!

“Do you have a plan for 2014?! It’s important to plan for the future you want to live in!!! Write it down so that as you go through the new year you an refer back to it!!! You have time to set your goals for 2014!!!” – Dr. Irishea Hilliard


Highlights from my personal 2014 goals list

–         Step into the door and get established in the creative career I need & want to be in

–         Move into a new place (super nice yet affordable)

–         Complete at least 1 personal photography project

–         Go on an extravagant trip

–         Go on an eclectic date with an eclectic guy who has greatness in his noggin and even more in his heart

zig–         Sing BGV on someone’s record or for someone’s showcase

–         Grow more in my Christ walk and become the woman I need to be

What’s on your list??!

– Joc

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Filed under Joc's Observations

Ready or Not? via P4CM – Christ and His Bride (aka The Church)



For those of you who don’t know, P4CM is a Christian Spoken Word/Arts Group in California who performs amazing pieces and circulates them around the world through their website www.P4CM.com and via YouTube. I have been following them for a little over 2 years now and Jeanette…ikz is by far my favorite poet! Not only does she inspire me to connect as a woman, but she has a way in which she molds her word play into intricate blows of truth and knowledge. My dad and I share a love for spoken word and jazz so when he posted this to my facebook page my MIND WAS BLOWN! My pastor JUST wrapped up a sermon series last month that dealt with EXACTLY this! It was titled “BRIDEZILLAS” — and took a detailed look at the 7 churches and went into depth outlining their faults and good so that WE, today’s church, will not be a ‘bridezilla’ that’s wacked out and psycho; but one who will be found without spot or wrinkle when our bridegroom Christ returns.

Everything about this piece is love. Please take the time to listen to it in its entirety and share with whomever!

– Joc

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Filed under The Christian Life

“Pastor FIRED for attending Rick Ross concert”

North Carolina – Pastor Rodney Wills was just about to reach 4 years at Mt. Salem Baptist Church. He is the youngest pastor to be installed at 26 years old and is now the shortest term pastor  in Mt. Salem’s 109 year history. On Saturday, Mt. Salem voted him out for attending a local Rick Ross concert. With a vote of 11 to 3, the 14 deacons met at 11pm Saturday night to discuss and come to a conclusion that they did not need his services anymore.

Rev. Wills arrived to the church the next day for Sunday morning worship service and notice his parking sign taken down and his name removed from the office door. The deacons even asked another minister from the community to officiate the service that morning.

 “We cannot have our leader supporting people of this world who are tearing down the kingdom of God.” said Deacon Miles Langley.

According to Deacon Langley, this is not the first time Rev. Wills has attended a concert while pastoring Mt. Salem. 9 months ago the diaconate board met with Rev. Wills when word was given to them that many youth and young adults spotted the pastor at a lil wayne concert.

“We know that many saints will have mixed opinions from our actions, but this is not how we do things here at Mt. Salem. We cannot have a pastor praising the world one minute then praising the Lord the next. Period” said Deacon Langley.

Mt. Salem told AmericaPreachers.com that they will have guest ministers preach each week while they move forth with the next step.

Rick Ross recently made nationwide news when he was dropped from Reebok and other endorsements for lyrics advocating rape towards women. ”Put Molly all in her Champagne/ She ain’t even know it/ I took her home and I enjoyed that/ She ain’t even know it,” he raps on the track.

I agree with the church on this one. It’s unfortunate, but if you believe in Christians leaders being held accountable, then you won’t blame them either. I really love what my man Allen Thomas said in response to a friendly debater on his FB post of this article link:

“I def agree that we all have issues to work with but Im sorry, I cant go to a church where the Pastor is doing things that I am too saved to do because of the love that I have for Christ…I don’t drink….Im not going to a church where the Pastor is seen at the bar getting wasted…just an example.”

“Every job has things you can and cannot do…and if you do something you should not have done, you get fired. Simple as that. Thats not throwing stones. Under that idea a Pastor can sleep with all the women in his church, curse people out, get locked up for selling drugs and he still be welcomed to the pulpit because you dont want to throw a stone. Come on…”  – Allen Thomas

“If it were an organized church event where they wanted to witness to people on their way into the concert and on their way out that would be different, thats not what happened from the story.” – Allen Thomas

Well said my friend. 

– Joc

Read the article for yourself: http://www.americapreachers.com/christian-news/pastor-fired-for-attending-rick-ross-concert/

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