Tag Archives: relationship advice

1 Good Reason God May Remove Someone From Your Life

This afternoon, I was perusing my FB timeline for content when I happened upon a post from The Praying Woman. It was adequately titled, “3 Reasons God May Remove Someone From Your Life”.

As I clicked on the link to prepare myself to for a nice, quick read, I found myself scrolling over the times in my life where friends or significant others seemed to float right on out the picture. For some instances, the reasoning was clear, but for others, not so much. When I read down to the last reason listed in the article, I found this:

3. Because sometimes our loved ones become more of a distraction than our enemies. This is God’s way of keeping us focused.

Today, I ask you this: Where does God fit in your life? Is He #1, #2, #3, or a better question would be… Is He even a priority in your life at all?

Sometimes we place our relationship with God on the back burner without even realizing it. We don’t give it our all like we do everything else.

Try not to be so focused on earthly relationships that you forget about your relationship with God. Switch the energy you’re currently putting into your distractions and refocus it where it’s needed, on Him!

You know those times where you have a “feeling” you might be right about a situation but talk yourself into thinking you’re over analyzing it too much? YES? Then you’ll know that this is exactly what BINGED in my mind when I read this.

A recent loved one who parted ways falls into this category, and not bashing them, but I realized our personalities mixed with the constant need to ‘upkeep’ our friendship/relationship ultimately brought it to a close. I was willing to overlook a few struggles in order to maintain consistent communication while obliviously overlooking the fact that my focus on God was creeping down to 2nd place. I found myself not feeling like my jovial, bubbly, NORMAL self as fear and doubt hopped into the front passenger seat of my life; all the while ignoring the signs that God was sending me.

YOU WILL HAVE NO OTHER GODS BESIDES ME!!!

I was making my friendship/relationship with this person an idol without knowing it and found myself more preoccupied with pleasing them and MAKING myself BE the right companion for them, that I totally ignored God! Yep, it’s a hard thing to admit, but I had to repent because I pushed God aside without even knowing it. I was all up and in works of the flesh trying to MAKE this thing work. That’s why God shut it all down! After a series of arguments and disagreements, this person and I parted ways and almost immediately, an entire ton of feathers lifted! By the time the sun rose, I was almost back to my former self. Sure this person is a great person as a whole, but here me when I tell you God will allow NO ONE to block the works HE desires to do in us. So whether that’s a sibling, friend, significant other, co-worker, even a parent — if we place anyone above God in ANY way, God will show up and cool it down. He’s not a “backburner” God.

So whether you’re doing it intentionally or not, stop making people idols in your life. If you find yourself thinking about them more than God — chances are you’re placing too much importance on them. If you spend all of your time with them (even to the point whether you just go work/school and stay up under them or call them) — then you’re probably making them an idol. There is nothing wrong with a good healthy investment into your relationships, but when it consumes you…. handle it before God does; because He will.

Be blessed, Joc

 

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5 Ways To Avoid a Rebound Relationship

Though you can probably already tell, I’m a woman who can get around the interweb pretty well. (I like saying interweb) I come across hundreds of articles — some better than others — offer up my commentary, and share it with you all!

This morning while getting ready for work, I get a notification from “THE PRAYING WOMAN” (a Christian woman-based blog I follow) and the subject line read:

Christian Dating: 5 Ways To Avoid a Rebound Relationship

If you’re like me, you’ve had your share of rebound crushes and dating experiences — some of them you wish you could take back. Right?! I KNOW I’m not the only one!

rebound

Anyway, I decided to open it up the link while sitting in the coffeehouse drive thru and thought back to the last ‘rebounder’ I came in contact with. Just to be clear, a ‘rebounder’ doesn’t have to necessarily be looking for an actual relationship. It can simply be an intimate friendship with someone of the opposite sex. I’ve found by observation (and personal experience) that when a person gets out of a relationship, especially if it’s a long term one, they find themselves in the awkward space of going from having constant interaction with the opposite sex to virtually nothing at all. This is when they’ll strike up close friendships with someone of opposite sex to get that one-on-one time they used to have with their ex.

LISTEN to me when I say NO INTIMACY or SEXUALLY based interactions have to occur….. a friendly hug, a playful hand hold, a tussle or fight, a deep conversation — any one of these things can satisfy a ‘rebounder’s’ need for the opposite sex while avoiding actually getting in a relationship. Remember, ‘rebounders’ are never really looking to get into anything serious, but just look for someone to have fun with while they figure out their feelings for their ex. Is it fair to the new person? HECK NO….but it doesn’t stop people from doing it.

SO now that we’ve reestablished the motives of a ‘rebounder’ — I can list the tips the article gave to AVOID being caught up in their wave of sappy Drake songs and ill intended ‘friendly dates’.

1.  Find out how recent their last relationship was. This is a key step in determining whether or not this person is on the rebound. Steer clear of anyone who has ended a relationship within the past three months. They’re probably not ready to jump right into another relationship (even if they think they are) . Some are just looking for someone to help them deal with their recent break-up. [As soon as] you’ve served your purpose, [there will be] no need for you anymore. Sad, but true!

2. Ask them.Don’t be afraid to ask them. Straight out… “I know it hasn’t been long since your breakup. Do you feel like you’re at a place where you’re able to love again?” Make sure you take note of their body language while they’re responding. It will tell you a lot!

3. Pay attention to how often they mention the ex.Even better, what does this person have to say about their ex? If they’re constantly talking about their ex (even if it’s in a bad way) , they’re still emotionally attached.It’s probably a good idea to give this person space to sort out their feelings before pursuing anything further.

4. Listen to how they talk to you.If they rarely mention anything about the the two of you as far as a future, or seems as though they’re constantly keeping their options open even though they are supposed to be in a relationship with you, then there’s a good chance, they’re rebounding. They might enjoy your company but isn’t ready for a commitment.

5. Evaluate how they treat you.If they constantly want to be intimate, even after you have made it painfully clear, NO SEX, yet they don’t want to take you out on a real date or invest quality time to really get to know you, this person is probably rebounding.

You can read this article in its entirety here at : http://theprayingwoman.com/2015/01/30/christian-dating-5-ways-to-avoid-a-rebound-relationship/  ** image also courtesy of theprayingwoman.com

Blessings,

– Joc

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Thank YOU for Making The Opposite Sex Revealed A Success!

When I say this past weekend was overwhelming…I MEAN IT! Thank you SO much to everyone who was part of The Opposite Sex Revealed Relationship Forum!  Wilson, NC doesn’t have too many creative, artsy outlets where residents can kick back and have fun; so the fact that many of you attended, donated, or even expressed a desire to attend meant the world!OSR_POSTER_24x36_update-page-0

TO THE PANEL, VENDORS, AND MEDIA:

Adeea, Greg, Kendra, Brian, Peaches, and Thomas – thank you so much for really being nothing less than awesome! You brought light, laughter, and truth to the issues that many of us are afraid to address so thank you! You were professional, relatable, and I appreciate you taking time out of your weekend to help make my event a success! To Reginald Mitchell and Rashaad McNeil I thank you all for not thinking it robbery to help bring my vision to life! You men are inspirational entrepreneurs and I want to support you how I can! Thank you again!

TO THE BARNES PROJECT, RASHAAD MCNEIL, AND THE BAND:

You all really exceeded my already high expectations this weekend! I already knew you would murder the mic but good Lord! I really respect you all as artists and will be sitting on the edge of my seat as you all grow and travel doing what God has blessed you to do! Thank you for being so willing to give up your Saturday evening to help bring The OSR atmosphere to life!

TO CHEF MEGZ OF MEGZ MEALS:

I really enjoyed getting to hang out a bit and get a peek into the life of a full time business owner and chef! You give a brand new meaning to what it is to be an entrepreneur and follow your dreams; so keep blazing that path! Your food and artistry was amazing and I thank you for all of your professionalism even though there was a lot of traveling involved! You are a super cool gal and I’m looking forward to hosting more of your cooking in the near future!

TO MY SOUNDING BOARD COMMITTEE:

I wouldn’t really call you a planning committee, because you had to listen to me jump from idea to idea every five seconds! You helped from set up to break down and I truly appreciate you all for your help because CLEARLY the way my mind is set up….. I’d be in loads of trouble without level headed individuals to help close some of the tabs opened in this noggin of mine. You put up with my billion updates and talked me off of some pretty outrageous ideas and I thank you!

TO MY DAD, MOM, AND AUNT:

A lot of you may not have seen them but I am telling you, every time I try to be super independent, my family comes along to remind me that it’s ok to ask for help – I don’t HAVE to do it on my own! They helped make runs around the city when I was running around like a headless chicken setting up for the venue – from helping set up hotels to transporting supplies, to even putting on a hard hat and putting together lights! Thank you so much each of you! I’ve already told you, but I want to tell you in front of THE BLOGOSPHERE! I love you all and am truly honored and grateful that God saw fit to gift me into an amazing family!

TO THE SPONSORS:

Thank you so much for lending your support in a way that was truly the backbone of how everything was set up! Sheryletta Lacewell of Lacewell Allstate Agency, Tawanda Auston of Five Touch Spa and Salon, LaMonique Hamilton of PieHole Magazine – you all are simply the best! I will continue to patronize your businesses and encourage others as well. You women are definitely a force to be reckoned with and I will support in any way I can!

TO THE ATTENDEES OF THE OPPOSITE SEX REVEALED:

Without each of you this event would be for nothing! I’m sure you could tell I was a bit nervous at the beginning but seeing you laugh, ask questions and engage during the night really made me so happy! I wanted to create a creative atmosphere where you could get REAL thoughts from REAL men and women. Because of you, I feel even more confident, that I should work on creating more events in the area where going to the club isn’t the only way to have fun! I want other Wilson natives to see that we don’t always have to spend gas and travel to Raleigh, or Greenville, or Charlotte to have fun – we can host classy events right here in Wilson! I look forward to seeing you at the 2nd Installment of The OSR in May 2015! We were sold out last night and plan on being sold out again! Who knows, we may have another installment sooner than you think. =)

Here are some of YOUR photos of The OSR courtesy of Facebook, Instagram, & Twitter!

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Do Women Call You “BRO”? Here’s Why…

This morning I came across an article that brings up a discussion that is rampant in the church community – well pretty much everywhere! It’s the title of “bro”. (DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!)

friend-zonedIn Yahoo Answers, a guy with the screen name ‘Biy’ posted this:

Can a girl that calls you “bro” or “brother” eventually become your lover? 

This is somewhat off my last question. I’ve had many girls reference me as “bro” or “brother” but I never liked that title. I’m only your brother in Christ, not in real life. And most of these women that call “bro” are drop dead gorgeous. So what does this mean? Am I being called “bro” so women will think of “incest” when we speak sexually so it gives them an “eww” feeling based on what I’m labeled? Or is it not that bad. Is it actually, like, me being bro gives me special privileges? I don’t know. Help people.

I couldn’t WAIT to see the responses both men and women posted below! This is what I found:

Joseph the Second 

It “Happens… ” -But it’s nothing I would count On. 😦 Those girls see you as a Close “Friend…” If that’s NOT what You’re “looking for”, then just enjoy Their Friendship- & KEEP “looking”… 🙂 

Hannah 

I have a couple of guy friends that are so close to me I call them brothers…I’m currently dating one of them :] He’s dropped his “brother” status…

There were many more responses following these two, but they really didn’t address BIY’s question. I thought for a few moments on how I would have responded to his question if I was involved in that thread chat.…

friend-zone-22Joc

Many ladies use the terms “bro” to either (A) Mask their real feelings in fear of rejection or use it due to not knowing how the other person feels.  (B) Let the other person know that they’re not attracted to them and that there is no chance of them getting together or (C) Convey that they genuinely look at the other person as a brother or as someone whom they love in a sibling or cousin-ly way.(yes I said cousin-ly)

At some point in my life I’ve used the term “bro” in each of these contexts, but now that I’m in my mid twenties, I use it sparingly.

FACTS (according to Joc)

#1 I am not one who calls EVERY guy I meet “bro”. WHY? If I’m just meeting or hanging out with you, I don’t know you. I don’t think ANY term of endearment should be used loosely unless you have a genuine friendship with that person.

#2 I am careful when calling a guy “bro” because I may want to eventually date him. I’ve been involved in friendships where a guy is honestly and truthfully a brotherly friend; but then one day I looked at them and I said to myself “hmm” or “what if”. I know that using “bro” can jumble signals, so I try to do my part as a woman in being clear. 

#3 Most of the guys I call “brother” are very attractive, but due to the nature of our friendship, we don’t allow ourselves to go past “that line”. It’s healthy to have friends of the opposite sex who you can bounce ideas off of and spend quality time with WITHOUT the pressure of dating. I know that they will always be up front with me and IF a day comes where they wake up and say “hmm” our friendship would be one where they could speak their mind, no sweat.

#4 Many of the guys I call “bro” are guys that I’m not attracted to romantically or are married (and I want to show that I respect their relationship). Being honest, there are some guys who I’m just not attracted to; and want to be up front about it. It’s SO important to be clear if you’re not interested in someone’s company beyond a platonic relationship. Not to say you need to be blunt and mean spirited about it – but make sure you don’t use terms and lingo that could suggest there is a chance at something more.

friendzoneI know all women don’t feel EXACTLY how I feel, but cool believe they fall into one of the three contexts I mentioned. As a guy, the only way to truly know how they feel is to:

A)    Pay close attention to her body language. I don’t care HOW a woman goes on in words – she speaks through her body language. If she calls you “bro”, but is always sitting in your lap, or kissing on your cheek, or slapping your butt, or WHATEVER, the door is open. She may be looking at you as just a friend with her eyes, but the more time you spend together, the more she’ll see you as more with her heart. It may take years, it may take weeks – but feel confident in knowing that you won’t be risking too much by telling her how you feel.

B)     Listen to her conversation. If she talks to you ALL THE TIME about her dating problems, then you’re in the “bro” category bro. lol You should either continue to enjoy the friendship, but if you don’t think you can be around her without being more – float on, float on – because she’s just your friend. **EXCEPTION – if she vents to you about guys some of the time then that’s totally normal and you can’t go off of that. It just means she values your opinion when it comes to opening her eyes to the type of guy she needs. But if EVERY conversation you have is about men and you feel like you’re her maid of honor or something…yep, hang it up**

C)    Ask her. You may get the answer you were hoping for. You may not. Either way there will be a great deal of clarity in your relationship moving forward. You will know if your “bro-ship” is heading towards a “boo-ship” or if you are viewed as just a friend.

 

Happy Enlightenment! – Joc

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Joc’s End Of The Year Reflections – Men, Friends, Careers, and Family.

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” – Luke 12:33 KJV

I have got to share my excitement, not to brag, but to testify!

As this year comes to a close, I have to sit back and reflect in awe of how awesome God has been to me. Not necessarily in the material THINGS He’s allowed me to acquire, but the opportunities He’s set before me and the ‘doors of distraction’ He’s closed FOR me.

It all started December of last year when my pastor announced his first sermon series of 2013 would be “Eye Hath Not Seen In Twenty-Thirteen”. Not only do I love how catchy this was, but I loved how this series (based on 1 Corinthians 2:9) spoke into my life. Even though this year has been a little rocky, dreams, thoughts, and people I never imagined would cross my path DID! In honor of the 12 months of this year, I will list 12 reflections.

Reflection #1 – When I was feeling borderline depressed about my job situation, God  renewed my gratefulness. As most of you know I work a 9-5 in the insurance industry. And while I am super grateful and have the most amazing boss ever, my creative mind has been feeling starved sitting up in a office crunching numbers. This year God has opened my eyes to how good I actually have it. Though I don’t make as much money as I want, don’t have the benefits that I want, and can’t flex my creative muscles like I want — I’m good. I have a nice roof over my head. I have money to fill my gas tank and pay my bills. The bills I can’t afford to pay, God made a way for them to get paid every year. I have a job that’s full time. Though I work an average of 9-10 hours a day, I KNOW what hours I can look forward to. I don’t have to work graveyard shift or crazy hours that could mess up my sleep pattern.

Reflection #2 – God has opened and expanded doors for me to do what I love. Though I’m not able to exercise my creative talents full time, I’ve had the opportunity to learn and grow them via a part time hustle. I’ve been photographing freelance for almost 10 years and this year I have been able to purchase new equipment with money I’ve made from my profits. I also have had the opportunity to work with WEEN (the Women in Entertainment Empowerment Network) and maintain not only their social media channels, but also serve as a contributing editor. All year I’ve interviewed powerful women in fashion and entertainment like Tionna Smalls, Issa Rae, Essence Editor in Chief Vanessa K. Bush,  Project Runway designer Samantha Black, PR Syreta Oglesby, and many more! It’s mind blowing how I’ve been able to listen to their stories of hustle and have been blessed to grab inspiration first hand! If you were to ask me last year if I’d be doing this, I would have told you “welp…one day”

Reflection #3 – I’m at peace and happy being single and saved! I haven’t been on a legit date in like 3 years and I’m ok with that. Instead of wallowing in despair and drowning my sorrows in wine; I’ve chosen to learn all I can in my season of singleness and boy I’ve been learning A LOT! Years ago I was like most young women — wired to want to take care of a husband and children. But now that I’ve had time to marinate, I realize that while I DO plan to get back out there on the dating scene, I love enjoying my singleness. Only when I’m single will I be able to up and take a random trip to the Bahamas with some friends without having to consider anyone’s schedule but my own. Only when I’m single will I be able to give my all into my building my businesses and career. Only when I’m single will I be able to gather what I can deal with in a relationship and what I can’t deal with. I definitely plan to get married  in the near future, but I’m totally fine casually dating and focusing my energies on God and how HE wants me to do things. When the heart that’s perfect for me comes…I will know it because of all the things I’m learning NOW in my season of being single and saved.

Reflection #4 Friendship doesn’t mean what I thought I meant. We’ve all done it at some point….called a person we know through a friend of a friend…our friend. I’ve learned this year that the older you get, the smaller your circle gets. I am very particular about who I call my friend now. I mean, for descriptive purposes, it’s easier to say “yeah, my friend _______ did this or that” but I’ve learned to say “yeah, this girl _____  or my colleague _________….) instead. A friend is someone who you can let yourself loose with. A friend doesn’t always get to talk to you every day, but still makes an effort to. A friend understands when you’re stressed or need to focus on something and is there with advice or just an ear to vent to. A friend can “do lunch” with you in the afternoons, and pig out on pizza that same night. A friend doesn’t want you around JUST because of what you ‘do’ or what your talent is. A friend is someone who is willing to talk problems out — even if it’s uncomfortable. A friend can never stay mad at you for more than a few weeks. I’m saying all this to say that I’ve learned this year to really categorize people carefully and watch who I let take part in my life.

Reflection #5 God has renewed my dreams and passions. Last year was a year of rebuilding for me. I took a huge hit in the finance department and was feeling kind of stifled in terms of my dreams, goals, and passions. This year, God has had me take it easy in order to reassess what my heart says and make sure it lines up with what He says. Take my photography for example. In the area where I currently reside, art is at an all time low while crime is at an all time high. People would rather pay hundreds of dollars for drugs, but don’t want to pay over $10 for a quality photo session. I never expected for everyone to love photos as much as I do, but when you come asking for me to do an entire 1 hour long session WITH prints for $3 and $5 — it’s an insult not only to my craft and my business, but to me as a professional. I know I have to grow more to be up there with Derek Blanks and Russell James but come on…I have some years under my belt. This entire year, God has been making a way for me to slow down on my photography so I can focus on taking more classes, upgrading my equipment, and explore my other creative talents. For this I am thankful. It’s hard to explain, but when a creative person feels like their dreams are dampened, it’s like a small birthday candle flame holding on for dear life while the wind picks up and tries to blow it out. It’s not easy, but God definitely put the flame back in my fire!

Reflection #6 I learned that God always knows best. This year makes an entire year that I’ve joined my current church and boy did God know what He was doing here! For years at my former church, while I learned a lot as a youngster, felt like I wasn’t growing as an adult. Leaving the church I grew up in was pretty scary, but God knew what He was doing. Searching for a new church home stretched me in every way imaginable….but when God finally led me to the place where I am now, it all came together. The church I attend now is a WORLD of difference from where I came from, but it taught me to not get caught up in denomination, not be locked into tradition, and to open up and meet new people. While I was out searching for a church home visiting around, I didn’t know why God had me floating if I needed to be poured into, but He knew that my best was yet to come. He knew that once He got me where He wanted me, I’d be able to grow not only as a Christian, but a woman.

Reflection #7 NETWORK! NETWORK! NETWORK! This year working with WEEN has been quite an experience. One part of the experience was learning the true meaning of networking. I’ve learned to not just add people because you think they can help you. Networking is forming genuine bonds and relationships with people on a personal level — and the fact that they happen to have a banging career is just icing on the cake. I experience this on a smaller scale almost every day. People add me on social media sites NEVER to say or want anything….just to have me an inbox message away — “just in case” they need me. How about a HELLO? How about “I love your blog” — something so I know you’re not a robot or opportunist! This year has taught me a ton; and though I still have miles to go and more to learn, I think I’m doing alright if I may say so myself. haha

Reflection #8 If you are guy and you are also my friend — it doesn’t mean I want to date you. I know these are the days of ‘thirst’ where everyone has a motive; but contrary to popular belief, it IS possible to have a friend of the opposite sex who may even have qualities you’d look for in a mate….and be JUST FRIENDS. I’m not busting chops, but just reflecting on what I’ve learned from my experiences. I know up to this year, I’ve learned that I have to be very intentional in spelling out parameters of my friendships with guys because for whatever reason, my friendship has often times been mistaken for ‘an open opportunity to get a date’. Yes you may be attractive. Yes you may have amazing qualities; but unless I clearly say to you “let’s explore dating now” then I’m not interested in dating you. I am the type of person who is totally fine with having a friendship with a guy and it be just that. I am perfectly capable of conducting a friendship with a guy just as I do with a woman. We’d hang out or go somewhere to eat. We’d go to concerts and plays together. We’d catch up and talk on the phone about what’s going on with life….you know, the norm. I know some people reading this may think I’m ‘doing too much’ by even reflecting on this, but hey, it’s something that I’ve learned. So word to all you folks out there. If you are going to be friends with someone of the opposite sex, make sure the parameters of your friendship are clear and drawn out in black and white. If you DO develop a romantic interest down the line, let your friend know up front. You should know within the week if your friendship has grown into something more or if it’s like it’s always been…a friendship.

Reflection #9 Everyone won’t “get me” and that’s ok. All my life I feel like I’ve been on the quirky side, and I’m totally ok with it. But unfortunately I’ve learned the hard way that everyone else may not be…but that’s ok too. You know how some people have a guard up, but as soon as you REALLY get to know them they’re just as silly and vulnerable as you? Well yes…that’s me, J-O-C! I am extremely guarded because I’ve learned that everyone won’t be able to handle my quirks. The year has taught me that there are some people you just CLICK with. They ‘get you’. There are some people who you can just ‘do lunch’ with and nothing more — if you just don’t mesh…you just don’t mesh. No hard feelings.

Reflection #10 I love supporting my friends. This realization actually prompted me to get the ball moving for the media consulting business I want to launch in the year(s) to come. All of my friends are on a primary level — my friends; but looking into the details, we all have a creative mind or are doing big things! That excites me! I honestly and genuinely want to do what I can to help promote and connect my friends to great people. In the past I’ve had guys date me because I was a photographer. I’ve had folks hang around me because of who my family  was — I know what it’s like to have someone just use you for what you can offer them, but when it comes to my friends, I hold an honest, deep desire to want to see them do well. CHEEZY RIGHT?! haha It’s true though. I love all of my friends and when one of us gets one step closer to our dreams, it inspires the rest of us to keep pushing towards our own! I support them. I love them. I want to see them live out their wildest dreams.

Reflection #11 I need to spend more time with my family. I didn’t think that it would happen to me, but my career aspirations have sapped up a lot of the time that I need to be devoting to visiting my family. Most of my family is scattered and spread out, but I have concluded this year that I need to suck it up, and plan trips to see everyone. Even if I don’t get to see my family out of state, I still want to plan a family trip where we could meet or video chat them. I keep up with social media, but I know in my heart that it’s not the same as physical interaction. FACE – To – FACE! Though we all have our problems and busy lives to tend to, I know that God gave me my family for a reason. It’s not going to take a funeral for me to see them. It may take me a while to clear things up, but it’s something I’m DETERMINED to do.

Reflection #12 (and most importantly) I have been blessed by God with amazing parents! Everyone says it, but I actually mean it. When I look at some of my friends and colleagues, I am blessed beyond measure to have the wonderful godly examples that are my parents.  This year more than ever they have guided me in how to live a Christian life as a full grown adult. My mom teaches me each day what it means to be a Proverbs 31 Woman. She is prepping me for my family so that when I marry and have kids, I will be able to effectively pray for and nurture my family in the way a godly woman should. My dad is the epitome of a godly man. SO SERIOUS! He will work until his fingers fell off if it meant providing for his family. He governs his household as a Christian man should. He prays for us (even though my sister and I are grown), he makes sure we all know how to manage our finances and prosper financially, he is a visible example for me as to what a godly man does and doesn’t do. My parents have listened to all of my ramblings, frustrations, and elaborate business brainstorms. Regardless of how they feel at the moment, they’re never too tired or busy to provide the emotional support I need. I love them dearly. I pray that I can be that and so much more to my kids.

– Joc

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Teach Your Heart How To Heal

Here are some simple truths ( via the great Quentin Mccall ) to help set you on the course towards healing.

1) You are not meant to hurt forever – You were not born into this world for the purpose of pain.  You were born to be a blessing and to bless others.  Pain is a process and has a season.  It will not feel the same forever.

2) Truth really will set you free –  You have the power and authority to combat what is going on in your head.  In your mind, you may hear “This is the worst thing in the world.”  However, stop that thought and tell yourself the truth…. “This is, indeed, bad.  However, there are far more things that are worse than this.  This is NOT the absolute worst thing in the world.  That is an irrational thought.”

3) Understanding everything is not necessary – There will be things you may never understand.  However, you don’t have to understand everything in order to stand under God’s authority for your life.   You can choose to be who He wants you to be in spite of any circumstance.

4) God will put people in your path to help you – God can provide comfort from the unlikeliest of sources.  You never know who you will encounter and how something they say or do can influence your situation.   You never know how you may heal through helping someone else.

5) God will never put someone in place to replace him – While encouragement from others is always a wonderful thing, God’s desire is never for you to cling so tightly to another person that you are unable to see Him working in your life.   In all things, and at all times, give Him thanks; seek His will for your life.

I am an avid reader of Quentin’s blog “K4L” — and I suggest you become one too! Delve into more of his amazing advice: http://quentinmccall.com/

– Joc

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Filed under Quotes To Live By, Society and Such, The Christian Life